I liked a video Joey Diaz and Ralphie May tell Doug Stanhope Stories
Highly recommend going to see Ralphie May, his comedy club shows are a riot.
That's for sure.Look at Artie Lange or Sam Kinison or Ralphie May!!! But don't mean anything!
you know what I like about most. You're funny, sure, but you're old school grateful for everything you get. Class.
Uncle George pushing sand and whatnot.
hey bro I'm dying to try stand up. It's all I ever think about. But I need dental work. Would u jus go up anyway or wait ✌🏻
Everyone gets made fun of in comedy! That is the rule!
is in Kentucky this weekend, why you not here?
Consistently the funniest guy on SNL
Jokes only work when they're funny y'all. His weren't. And I'm a fan of unrestrained comedy and Dave Chapelle.
Comedians are equal opportunity offenders. Comedy is the last bastion of free speech, good and bad.
& I hope he never stops... YALL (Trans people) ARE NOT ABOVE GETTING JOKED ABOUT!!! NOBODY is. Get over it or just don't wa…
You loved him on now see take the stage on March 31!…
Love seeing you on the Church, you are a good dude Ralphie those stories of you an…
Are you taking offers for your sister??.. *** ?.. When did you become a Pimp...…
Find out more about tonight at 9:00pm on Mega Stars Volume III
and I have nothing to lose, let's get cracking.
The hot dogs come in two size ralphie may and Jon jones size
I could women order there hotdogs at sonic Ralph may size
Me, and had good Scorpions Saturday night.
The best Scorpion Bowl in the world is from Ask He knows what's up.
David May is that guy in the pub that thinks the players can hear him. "Have a pop! Go on! Take him on! Should've passed it.…
Greatest beans ever. You gotta try the bologna ralphie. It will blow your mind it's so good
Medium *** is my favorite Ralphie joke. Did that in Tampa wife *** near fell out her chair. Its all u need no wasted inches
Like in that joke, where a lady changed her husband's GOLDEN heart for a STEEL *** of her…
But not the case, I'm medium and the big guy doesn't do much to make up for it
But then the Dalai Lama would have no *** and Trump's would be Yuge.
The closet thing to a perpetual motion machine we've ever seen is a fat guy learning how to cook.
He can also eat giner the way a fat chick can suck a *** into oblivion...Well, at least the good fat chicks.
Always a pleasure to see my Friend Funny everytime and always fresh with it.
I like this approach... What I lack in *** I make up for in heart. 😂💯
Yes. In fact Martins treated the green room to free BBQ. Outstanding.
Everytime I see in the Fiesta Mart ad, I think of you.
you crack me up Ralphie, keep your head up man
Lmao. Why she dip, dip, potato chip'n? Lol
"Everyone eats, so Ralphie May weighs as much as Steve Buschemi"
Have you ever thought about getting into acting I'd love to see a sequel for "Train,Planes and Automobiles"
This is the way I'd wanna check out if you gotta go go with a smile
if you think Ryan looks like an amazing *** in this video.
is coming back to Pittsburgh in December!! Who's joining me? Heard this is his new tour bus. Biscuits drive…
When you can't sleep... thanks for making me laugh
dating circuit.I would trust it! There are several dudes I would suck face wi…
your sister could use some spoiling. Tell her about me. Ya I'm fat but I got a medium *** and a lot of heart.
Headed to Vancouver. Really liking & much more than the right now.
What's up with Bingo? Last update I saw was like 6 months ago...
Paul Reubens reminds everyone that it only takes one mistake to erase a lot of great stuff for a long time.
when are you going to hook me up with your sister. I'm a millionaire and I'm single. Seriously how much better can she do?
Happy Fathers Day to some of the best.
Tough situations often lead to horrible reactions, but you are both amazing parents to two amazing kiddos. God bless.
Not many people give praise and respect under the circumstances you are currently in which is why I ad…
I wouldn't expect anything less I know him & the ex personally.. And believe me I'll say it He's the better 1\2
You're one of the best human beings on planet earth. I love hear you and on the church podc…
Blessings to you and your kids, RM.
Good parents never talk bad about the other parents. Ever. Ralphie you're an outstanding parent.
I did a drive from Houston to LA solo in one weekend started Saturday morning s…
. driving from Houston to Vegas. How long would it take? two drivers to switch out. Just gassin' N pissin'?
I'll hopefully be there in September for Ralphie May. 😄
respect brother! You speak highly of your ex wife and that my friend is classy! You went up another Notch in my book!
Nothing like going to bed as the sun comes up after an awesome night w & the best of
In the words of Ralphie May if you suck my *** youll get cavities!😆
Waiting for and the dude behind me is passed out!
I just had my own Open Water moment with 47 Meters Down. BEST. MOVIE. EVER.
Hey man, you in Savannah tonight? Just someone looking for his hotel. Could be your twin.
So sorry the old foreign lady molested you last night after the show, you handled it like a gentleman, I would have needed bail
Ralphie May is in a dark room somewhere cursing himself for blowing his load prematurely going after Chelsea Peretti for "One Of The Greats"
ACC play begins in January. Still letting him coach the invitationals and UK game
Send me up! Gotta work on my sapio bucket list!
Ralphie,Would u please do a selfie video congrats recording via DM for my friend and ur fan Jordan who is getting married? THX
Another weekend at Come on out, y'all.
Not to surprising with the state of education the last few decades
I call for the removal of all warning labels
We gotta get rid of some of these *** warning labels, too. Go on and make that toast in the bathtu…
Did you know that millions of people believe that people who claim that are telling the truth?
I think 16.4 million people need to be culled.
I refuse to believe this. Please don't be true. 😔
They just think soy milk comes from cows that only eat soy
Those dummies would've been culled from humanity if we hadn't made kids wear bike helmets.
Ralphie may did your the best fluffy has nothing on you bro
we were just at your show in vegas. we would really like to meet up. Where are you!?
.did this stuff 20'years ago. Come on bro. Step yo fat up!
Mf said Ralphie May is so fat his heart is too lazy to attack him lmao
Oh my goodness I absolutely forgot about that scene in dirty work. Makes me want to cry know…
Just saw at Harrah's Las Vegas...Phenomenal show! Hilarious and on point! Love me some Ralphie!!
that was my 20th time seeing you tonight. You get funnier every time.
my cousin & the Iowa boys r coming to see you tomorrow night. Keep them out of trouble those bright lights might be too much.
Ran into him in L.A. and I at first wasn't sure it was him, he came over to me and said "…
And ridiculously sharp and quick, even in the last few years. I saw him live in-studio on Kimmel a cou…
Classic! Here's the whole scene for those who haven't seen the movie
If you dug them both up in 1,000 years, they would both still look pretty close to what they do in that photo.
These two. They need to come back. Now, please.
Any of y'all got suggestions as to who are good lesser known comics?
When are you bringing that mouth of yours back to CT.? Sincerely, a die hard fan patiently awaiting y…
Waiting outside the showroom, I'll be front row center, been my favorite for 15 years.
No vanilla ice came to vermont last year
Thanks for sharing your meeting with Don and Barbara - he always made me laugh...and you do too. Peace.
Naw dude it's recent, Ice is back with a brand new edition. Again
I love ya pal. You're funny and you've got balls. What's not to love brother? LA comics think comedy is competition…
Sad day for us all. Least he got to see the Cubs win a World Series
Not being a kiss *** but it's an honor to call you a friend. If everyone were like you in comedy it'd…
The worst part about getting sober is all those steps he'll have to climb
I had dinner with Don Rickles and his lovely wife Barbara at Dan Tanas in West Hollywood years ago. One of the nicest men ever. Thank you.
what is your opinion on Trumps decision today?
Not if he saw him at a fair. Back then Vanilla Ice didn't perform anywhere near funnel cake bro
knock knock whos there cruise missile light em up! What you think about this bro
Ah the ingredients of a Cuban sandwich
How dare you make me spit my drink out
sometimes I think you do it just to duck with all of us, love ya man
You may have to revamp your Dora the Explorer joke...
I just heard that Barry Manilow says he's *** wow, I never knew. I always thought he was a *** not ***
how you doing ya workaholic? Most guys would be content with a Vegas residency.. I see you out there man.. take time to breathe
His sex tape is still better than Gene Simmons or Hulk Hogan (NOT an endorsement)
He was drinking 3-4 thimbles full of whiskey a day. I heard he almost drowned in a puddle.
May not be live tonight, at the vet with a sick dog. Will try but Ralphie comes first.
Can you comp me to one of the Huntsville shows ? Im broke these days, waiting on the VA approve my claim.
Until Louie Anderson or ralphie may become underwear…
I liked a video Ralphie May: Girth of a Nation - "Retarded"
. I know you agree with this bruvva
I have missed some of the show...but has anybody mentioned Rodney Carrington? is good but in love with Hillary😂
Little Ralphie may have felt that way.🎄
Today is 800th episode day on w/the guest on the very first episode! Great!
The world needs more laughs. Apr 17-23 the ft. + MUCH More 👉http…
Just passed the Gaffney peach and all I hear in my head is saying "'giner in the sky. "
Like I told last night, nothing beats a double Whataburger with cheese and jalapeños!
I don't alone time to boobs so clearly not me
Right on. Let me talk to and see what we can work out.
Greatest Stand up show on earth would be Bernie Mac, Dave Chapelle, Ralphie May, and Daniel Tosh
Do you ever tell jokes so many times you don't find it funny any more?
Such a good word. "Throw them legs up and catch a stabbing." God bless Ralphie May.
We should've nominated Bernie Sanders to go up against Dat Phan in season one of Last Comic Standing instead of Ralphie May.
I just liked “Ralphie May and Lahna Turner's Perfect 10 Podcast Visits The Gathering of The Juggalos” on
. Ralphie May and Gabriel make fat jokes everyone laughs. Nicole Arbour makes fat joke internet flips the f out. :/
Good to run into you yet again Take good care of yourself.
I think if my life ever became a movie would probably be the person playing me.
Apologies for any inconvenience and disappointment this may cause.
As much as you want to be able to count on others, you may nee... More for Virgo
Match abandoned. Rightly so, safety first. Now that it's abandoned, we may as well just call it a no result. What's the poin…
would you be interested in doing a Benefit show for firefighters? our pals & have
hey buddy!! When is your next trip to Love to see ya!
Just saw the bus pass through Nashville
Comedian Ralphie May has rescheduled his Sioux Falls appearance. Here's my column defending his right to offend:
Ralphie May is too big to fail. Pity.
May I introduce Ralphie who is as you see a GSD cross. He is 3 ...
the difference is he's funny to be funny. She's funny to advance an agenda...
Difficult listen. He was practicing *refined* racism the *whole* time -- deflecting, feigning ingnorance, etc.
I hope you are feeling better, Ralphie! The weather in Texas has been so jacked up, headaches galore!
, you were right about not eating a concave cereal when you are tired/high. My jaw is all kinds of hurt right now.
We're GIVING AWAY tickets to see and at tomorrow https…
get well soon brother! We'll hook it up again and rage all night!
money is fleeting. Laughing is forever. Can I get one private joke ?
sorry you can't make the show tonight. I hope you feel better!
*** to be this guy. Has to tell everyone that called 10 minutes ago and is sick.
respect. I feel bad for being rude. I was being a *** The next time that you are in the city, I will make sure to see you.
Ralphie May cancelled at Tips...just an FYI.
they're giving refunds. I'm sorry I don't feel well pal. I want you to get the show you pay for not me puking on stage.
I hope you feel better. Watch a little Trump, the pain from that will take your mind off it.
Our man is under the weather & won't make it The funk still rolls. 2 sets of Soul Rebels + DJ Lil Creepa all night
Unfortunately due to illness, will not perform tonight... Instead will play extended set.
.plz reimburse my $25? I am so disappointed and out of money. I was anticipating getting drunk on laughter
I mean has a migraine every morning and she still goes to work for the kids..
taking a page out of book. Cancelling something everyone loves.
So is Ralphie May making derogatory jokes about Native Peoples not worthy of Network News? I mean is it not news?...
heading back from Ralphie May show at Firekeepers, holy crap did he rip Gov Snyder a new one for Flint issue. Fing hilarious
Ralphie May. Friday 3/25, 7PM. Copernicus Center. Tickets still available on sharing...
No lie folks Ralphie May said watch out for Middle Tennessee state on Morning Show
Right on. Hope you have fun. I get to see Greg Proops and hang out with Ralphie May in Denver this week.
Ralphie May? That's so 2014 Death Pool. We're all about Lavell Crawford now.
Major 2016 acts coming to the new Casino @ Dania Beach:. Jefferson Starship - Ralphie May - Foreigner - Air Supply.
please come to Boise. Tracy Morgan, Jim Jefferies, Ralphie May have all been here. Direct flight from LA.
going on sale now. Sebastian Maniscalco 2/14. Ralphie May - 1/22. Billy Gardell – 2/13.
Ralphie May at the Crest Theatre, Sacramento, CA Tuesday November 10th at 7:30pm
John Boy and Billy it's a morning win...Marvin Webster and Ralphie May are both on before 9 and then at 9:15...
Ralphie May is sick so we get a free show. AWESOME customer service from ! Feel better Ralphie.
looks like a fit Ralphie May in the camaro shirt
any insight? death pool? Jesus that's morbid just lightening the mood.
bailed on Claiming food poisoning. Hope it's not something more serious, considering his health conditions.
get well soon. So sad u had to cancel tonight. Till next time
ahh.. I wish I could of stayed after Roseanne to see you but I am sure it's sold out
trying to buy tickets for the oct 22 show in bham. Fingers crossed. I'll buy you that beer eventually, I promise.
Ralphie May is the physical embodiment of 9gag. 0/10
in line for sure hope Roseanne hangs out for his show!
People magazine's sexiest man and woman alive would go to and respectively
where do I get the fat baby Jesus man?!
"Y don't u stop regulating sombdy else's def of their own f'ing love, & get out of their GD house!" ~Ralphie May on ppl against *** marriage
I'm telling jokes at Zanies tonight. You should come listen to them. is closing the show. Yes? Tix here:
Oh 10/10 heavenly blessed beauty, I would lick gravy from ralphie May's thigh crevices just to shake the hand of your mailman.
TONIGHT: 7pm 9:15pm at 9:15pm The Trash Boys at Phat Bites.
I think my mate's new girlfriend may be a transvestite. I saw her reverse park perfectly today.
and Any chance you guys may do an X-mas album together.
Listened to Episode 91: Absolutely in love with this podcast! I am dying laughing every show!!! and just get me!
Dope show tonight at zaniesnashville.We're right back at it tomorrow with Ralphie May!!! Plus…
Watching and is on. I know it's an old episode but yay lol
.presents at Sat Oct 17. Want to win tickets? Here's how:
didn't they have to leave Ralphie May off the post-season roster to make room for him?
Enjoying an Pumpkin Ale with some post season baseball.
Wow, Phil cuzzis strike zone is wider than
Hoochie Momma might enjoy doing her best "A Few good Men"...check out the YouTube link
I can't stand tom papa but I try, ralphie may is horrible, non comedic or interview jimmy is rough :[
.will be appearing at the 9:15pm show tomorrow night only. Get your tix here:
Ralphie May has made an entire career out of using that word!
ICYMI is headlining our 9:15 show on Sat for only $20! Get your tickets now bcuz they will sell out
Plans: Friday, Spa and pooltime Saturday & on Sunday.Slots/roulette scattered in between all. Fun fun!
Your friends may not offer you the support you expected today,... More for Gemini
Ralphie will try to b there. Miss u bro. Been too long say hi to Lahna
Hope it went as well as it could brother. Hang in there.
Plz share my fundraiser to help honor veterans. Help us plz. We r behind on our goal.
R u phuccking kidding me? Both of u within 2 hrs of my abode? I'll buy the drinks!
straight from Waikiki just now: Japanese Female Mullet
yo Ralphie! are you coming to Asheville,NC anytime? I missed you last 2 times you were in AR.
.presents at Sat Oct 17. We've got tix to give away...here's how to win:
Surprise, surprise. I'm performing one night only, this Sat. 9:15pm right after the amazing show.
JUST ANNOUNCED! Saturday at 9:15! and friends! Tix are only $20 but get them now BCUZ theyll sell out!
I was listening to an old podcast with and and I need this settled. Is Jeong a hard j or soft j?
A Ralphie May post buffet fart has more foam on it than a dropped bottle of warm Miller Lite.
Rebel Wilson,why is that fat *** even on tv,her and Ralphie May should screw until they both flatline
I laugh every time I think of Jack laughing so much and Wise just shaking her head at the comedy club 😂 Oh, Ralphie May 😂😂
Don't forget, Ralphie May is at the Fox Cities Performing Arts Center May 15! More info and tickets:...
I have determined that Craig Shoemaker, Ralphie May, Russell Kane, and Jay Mohr have the most aggressively bad Netflix thumbnails.
Constant reassurance is necessary no matter how confident someone may be
Oh yeah forgot hosting awards tonight. Getting liver ready for a great night!
What? Oh *** no, has no class. Bring back MIKEY, or get is a jerk, but he's OURS.
Ralphie May is less than funny. Murr is nuts, but in a good way.
HolyCrap Ty for the Fav. I'd fit in with them too 😷
nooo way!! Noone will ever have a full proof plan like murr!!
What said...don't EVEN think about it.
NO NO NO they are brilliant as they are. No changes
Been watchin comedy specials all day 😂😂😂
no no Nooo I love murr :) love watchin all episodes over an over
I was thinking that, he's irreplaceable
if you replace Murr, I will hurt someone...
Hey steve. Thanks for the favorite! Ralphie may is funny,but Murr is awesome and such a nice guy.
Um, can we PLEASE replace Murr with
Arrived in Tempe AZ. Let's share some laughs. Here till Sunday.
I hope he does his act (the R rated version) during the flight. These old timers may not make it down to Florida.
On a flight with - he offered to help me with my bags- what a gentleman! And funny too!
Ralphie said nothing but good things about you guys, looking forward to seeing y'all again.
Our good friend talked to our other good friend -
You don't follow me so I can't DM you.
Today to Sun - RALPHIE MAY at Palm Beach Improv in West Palm Beach.
to see you live...unfortunately, I at crowds. I love Netflix!
Vote now to pick the Awards 2015 winners! undefined. I WISH RALPHIE MAY WAS ONE OF BEST COMIC
appreciate it man! You were hilarious. See you in Nashville!
I meant every word I said last night y'all sounded great too.
wife just surprised me with tickets to the show on the 29th for my birthday. Can't wait.
when is the show? Coming from and just hit dispensary. ;)
Just got diagnosed with Bi Polar too.
Ralphie, . I would LOVE to see you live in Atlanta!! I Swear:I'll rock a mullet.
Wife and I need a trip Ralphie! Coming from Chicago, it's a long haul, but we'll make it you big pimp.
I wish I could afford to do the trip.. I'd love to come watch zz
hubby says throw in a hotel room, too! Coming from nc. How bout it?
Daily ed. of my newspaper Blossom to Binary is out! Stories via
A good laugh would be nice you funny guy.
I'm in cali so that's a long trip. I'll bring to oganja
Fans, if you want free tix to my concert for in Atlanta and $ is tight you probably need to laugh. DM me, road trip it let's do it
I just can't get away from but for real, why would I want to?
I hope everything goes great, so you ALL can breath a little easier.
would you and some friends like some tix. To my concert taping on Nov 29. DM if you would
pal thank you for being polite, I need fans in my Audience next week in Atlanta at the Cobb Energy center recording for
You'll get 'em next time. There will be a next time, I'm sure.
I almost went for the full on Bugs Bunny on the lips so funnyRT very Sammy Davis/Archie Bunker of you. Nice.
so kids send out that pic of me kissing Lionel Richie. Also I need a number to call to get free tickets to any show for life.
I need some of those Ralphie May good vibes!! New lungs are being flown in for my cousin as we speak!
I hate seeing people DEMAND you come to their town. I love seeing you when you come to ATL. Thanks for touring.
Ralphie I just looked at pics from that radio show, I bet it was better than kissin Lionel Richie
You're a dirty, dirty man, not unlike myself.
Add some laughs to your week with + See them both at Florida's Get tickets here:
Be sure to catch this weekend and enjoy an to go with the
.is taping his Netflix special here on Nov 29! got the inside scoop:
it was a great show. Hope all is well. Miss ya homie.
really!? I'm a slacker and haven't listened to it yet :(
My homie was mentioned on show about helping with getting on the show. Great show. Mad Luv.
The greatest stand up comedians of my generation are Martin &
was that after you made the clay bust of his noggin with the Jheri curl?
you better wring out your panties Ralphie
93X has your tickets for Ralphie May, Saturday night at Barbara B Mann Performing Arts Hall. Listen for details!
he isn't that funny, watch John Pinette or Ralphie May. They are WAY funnier
Ralphie May, Gabriel Iglesias, and John Pinette should all go on tour together, that'd be a great line up. "The heavyweights of comedy"
thankful our fan is not David Keith, again (overkill). Really thankful our fan is not Ralphie May.
4 days: LAX. Staples Center. Roscoes Chicken and Waffles. Musso and Frank Grill. Chris Isaak at the Hollywood Bowl. 16 comedians including Marc Maron, Ralphie May and Dom Irrera at The Comedy Store. Griffith Observatory at night. Pinks Hot Dogs. Marty and Elayne at The Dresden. The Grammy Museum. Santa Monica Pier. Third Street Promenade. Sneaking onto Zuma Beach after midnight. George T Stagg bourbon at the Township Saloon. Bob's Coffee and Donuts. Swimming at Malibu Beach. Pancakes at Du-par's. Dinner at JiRaffe. Fatburger. The Original Farmers Market. Blasting the Doors on Sunset at 3:00 am. L.A. - we won't soon forget you.
"Several well known comedians" = Washed up Colin Quinn and Ralphie May. I'd be surprised if anyone famous capes for him
You know who would be a cool driving instructor? God rest his soul Sam Kinison would've been cool.. John Madden, Steve Martin, Billybob Thornton, Ralphie May, Bobcat Goldthwait, Clint Eastwood in his Dirty Harry character would be awesome. Jack Nicholson in any character would be cool too...
This summer is going to be jam packed! . Just added today: Ralphie May, *** Foley, Ben Bailey, Sean Donnelly. Even...
Man Cory is getting fat but killing in Houston, he's never been funnier.
Great Show tonight. As always enjoyed it and laughed the entire night.
Ralphie May does a hilarious reenactment of his marijuana bust in Guam. Check out this original video from Atom.com!
Just got home from seeing Ralphie May. Funny and hilarious guy 2nd time seeing him and he changed his whole show. Enjoyed it.
Just left the ralphie may show. I have never laughed so hard in my life! Didn't have anything to sign so my brests had to do!
Ralphie May will make you bust a gut. But dude his opening guy Chad OMG. The funniest people ever a must see show.
What do u do when it won't stop raining..watch Kevin Hart and Ralphie May all day! :) GN!
Ralphie may and gabriel iglesias are hands down the best comedians
we had a blast Ralphie on first show back in Houston
Actually looking forward to this week... Ralphie May Tuesday night and King George Saturday!
Ralphie, big guy sittin n front w his Mom would like an autograph. He also wants you to clown him for bringin his mom
eating big waiting to see Ralphie May
In case you have a chance to see the great in concert, make sure you buy some of his BBQ sauce, great stuff! Made ribs tonight!
Las Vegas Harvey Weinstein Puerto Rico Stephen Paddock World Cup North Korea Donald Trump Gulf Coast Ralphie May Tom Petty White House President Trump Blade Runner 2049 Theresa May Blade Runner Central America Manuel Miranda New Orleans Elon Musk Middle East Star Wars Denzel Washington President Donald Trump Manhattan Beach London Film Festival Lisa Bloom Ivana Trump Lionel Messi Saudi Arabia Kazuo Ishiguro Cook County Golden Knights Cam Newton Rex Tillerson World Cup 2018 Melania Trump King Salman Mutual Fund Eric Church Super League Grand Final Simon Cowell Senate Hearing Hurricane Irma St Petersburg Eubank Jr Vietnam War Jonjo Shelvey Hispanic Heritage Month Gerard Pique Liz Dawn Grace Mugabe Czech Republic Robert Mugabe Kate Winslet Idris Elba Daryl Murphy Mitch Trubisky First Responders Harrison Ford World War Two Ed Contributor Las Vegas Strip World Series Coronation Street Patrick Kane Stranger Things Real Estate Nobel Prize First World War Cape Town Jason Aldean Ben Stokes John Boyega Weinstein Co Curb Your Enthusiasm Access Hollywood Islamic State Gareth Southgate Daily News Columbus Day Mandalay Bay Christopher Columbus James Stewart American Express Clive Davis Army Sgt Carpool Karaoke Leeds Rhinos Gold Coast George Osborne Daily Telegraph Edward Heath Little Me Formula One Ford Kuga Carey Mulligan Amazon Prime Annie Leibovitz Amal Clooney Xbox One