Frederic Ogden Nash (August 19, 1902 – May 19, 1971) was an American poet well known for his light verse.
Sins of omission, or sins of commission? Surely the latter. Thanks, Ogden Nash!
The Perfect Husband (Ogden Nash): "He tells you when you've got on too much lipstick, And helps you with your girdle when your hips stick."
Wert thou but houri instead of a hag. Then would my halo indeed be in the bag!. -- Ogden Nash
WINTER MORNING by Ogden Nash. Winter is the king of showmen. Turning tree stumps into snow men. And houses into...
You are the man! Would you like to recite some Ogden Nash in an upcoming musical performance w/a fellow Juilliard grad?
Ha ha it's Ogden Nash, but next time I get snow peas Imma try them with honey :D Canned peas are foul :P
Dad is forcing us to listen to recitations of Ogden Nash poems.
I'm not sure if I've seen that or not. Was the screenplay written by Ogden Nash?
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” . -Ogden Nash
"Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you." . ―…
'I wish I were a cassowary, on the plains of Timbuktu. I would eat a missionary and eat his hymn book too' Ogden Nash
Gorgeous black panther. Wow. In the words of Ogden Nash: "If a panther calls, don't anther." -
Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when . you set about retiring them.-Ogden Nash.
Ogden Nash: Whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up. Secret of a Happy Marriage?
Mathewson is mentioned in the poem "Line-Up for Yesterday" by Ogden Nash:
(HUMORISTS) I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned. -- Ogden Nash, "Everybody's Mind to (1/2)
Bard Ogden Nash died before blogs; But he sometimes wrote verse about dogs;
"There is only one way to achieve happiness...& that is to have either a clear conscience, or none at all." -O Nash htt…
In high school, we barely brushed against Ogden Nash, Lewis Carroll, Edward Lear, or any of the other so-unserious writers who delight every
Happy National Liqueur Day! 'Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker'~ Ogden Nash #
This little poem by Ogden Nash turned out to be perfect thing to read at a sweet & quirky wedding:
"Any kiddie in school can love like a fool,. But hating, my boy, is an art". -Ogden Nash
I loved Ogden Nash when I was little :) ❄️
"He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more.". ― Ogden Nash
I'm in the mood for recommending things to you tonight. We've done Latin and Greek, now try the poems of Hilaire Bellock and Ogden Nash -fab
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up. -Ogden Nash
"You are only young once but you can stay immature indefinitely." -Ogden Nash
"I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by a woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm" Ogden Nash 😉
Happy October 12th, via Ogden Nash: In fourteen hundred and ninety-two, Someone sailed the ocean blue. Somebody borrowed the fare in Spain For a business trip on the bounding main, And to prove to the people, by actual test, You could get to the East by sailing West. Somebody said, Sail on! Sail on! And studied China and China's lingo, And cried from the bow, There's China now! And promptly bumped into San Domingo. Somebody murmured, Oh dear, oh dear! I've discovered the Western Hemisphere. And that, you may think, my friends, was that. But it wasn't. Not by a fireman's hat. Well enough wasn't left alone, And Columbus was only a cornerstone...
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up, -- Ogden Nash
Life is sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating. -Ogden Nash
Women would rather be right than reasonable.-Ogden Nash
Then Isabel quietly ate the bear up. - Ogden Nash
- Ogden Nash: "Marriage is the alliance of two people,
"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."~Ogden Nash
Seems likely that Prince Albert (1819-1861) had , and Ogden Nash (b.1902) definitely did. Did not go well for them.
I never see anyone mentioning Ogden Nash anywhere which makes me sad because he's one of my favourite poets.
Which Snodgrass do you speak of? I did find a nice tribute by Ogden Nash
No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven’t done.”—Ogden Nash
Great humorist/poet Ogden Nash is pretty much forgotten, but I still quote his, "A bit of talcum is always walcum."
;) "To keep ur marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever u’re wrong, admit it; whenever u’re right, shut…
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long, -- Ogden Nash
People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it, -- Ogden Nash
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore, -- Ogden Nash
Yesterday I discovered Ogden . Today brevity is preceded by a tagged .
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them. - Ogden Nash
For Ogden Nash fans (and cat lovers!!):. 'The Kitten'. The trouble with a kitten is. THAT. Eventually it becomes a. CAT.
Go to resale shops & buy randoms for $1. How I found Noel Coward reading Ogden Nash's words for "Carnival of the Animals"
Great from Ogden Nash. "you are only young once, but you can be immature indefinitely."
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else ~ Ogden Nash
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny-- Did you ever try buying then without money? -…
Ogden Nash's billboards and trees poem.
Speak low when you speak, love. Our moment is swift, like ships adrift,. we're swept apart, too soon. - Ogden Nash
I think that I will never see/ A billboard lovely as a tree/ And unless the billboard fall/ I'll never see a tree at all. Ogden Nash
Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals? -Ogden Nash
That which makes people dissatisfied with their condition, is the chimerical idea they form of the happiness of others. — Ogden Nash
I sold a greeting card of panthers - "If called by a panther, don't anther" ~Ogden Nash
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance. • Ogden Nash
I know. Very unsettling. Here's an Ogden Nash to restore equilibrium before bobos
My parents had a bunch of Ogden Nash books when I was young. I read that poem at my father's funeral.
"Ogden Nash on Middle age.true enough I guess..
In his wisdom. God made the fly. But then forgot. to tell us why. Ogden Nash
"Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker" also applies to death from diabetes vs. cirrhosis. Yep, I just sucked the fun out of Ogden Nash.
Time is like the ocean, always there--always different!! Ogden Nash
I wish I was a glow worm,. A glow worm’s never glum. ‘Cos how can you be grumpy. When the sun shines out your bum!. - Ogden Nash.
Some sage advice for Ron Hextall regarding Vinny Lecavalier, by Ogden Nash: "When called by a Panther/don't anther."
Diaper, diaper, warm buffalo, Have you any powder? How Meryl Streep is Related to Ogden Nash: Oh, Too Bad
Everybody Tells Me Everything by Ogden Nash I find it very difficult to enthuse Over the current news. Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it worsens, And that is why I do not like the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
Marriage is the bond between a person who never. remembers anniversaries and another who never. forgets them. Ogden Nash
Last night, church campout with my daughter. Tonight, Ogden Nash volume from Goodwill. Tomorrow, sunshine & steak. Perfect weekend
A bit of talcum. Is always walcum. -- Ogden Nash
What can an arts non-profit dedicated to education & community do to convince you to recite some Ogden Nash live in concert?
Love this! Only know the humorous side of Ogden Nash. Must read further… Thanks!
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown Believing hear, what you deserve to hear: Your birthday as my own to me is dear... But yours gives most; for mine did only lend Me to the world; yours gave to me a friend. ~Martial Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990 Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars fo ...
From Ogden Nash: A million dollars could also be well spent in hiring somebody to invent some better rhymes for wife than rife and knife and strife, But I think what I would really do if I had a million would be to buy a million dollars' worth of books written by me and then besides having lots of good books I could sit back and live on the royalties for the rest of my life.
Oh,what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that children are naive. ~Ogden Nash
Almost done with "The Mysterious Benedict Society" for 7 y/o & our 5 year requested poetry "Oh How Sylvester Can Pester". Need to find copy of Poetry Speaks to Children. It has works from artist like Langston Hughes; Sonia Sanchez; Nikki Giovanni; Roald Dahl; J. R. R. Tolkien; Robert Frost; Gwendolyn Brooks; Ogden Nash. Has anyone read from Life Doesn't Frighten Me by Maya Angelou ? I think this will be a good intro for my little ones to Dr. Angelou.
One thing about the past. It's likely to last. -- Ogden Nash.
And Ogden Nash is asking for credit! :)
Ogden Nash : "Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited."
Have you ever read poetry of Ogden Nash? You have a certain Nashean flair, it seems to me. An effective poem, there.
Private commission for Ogden Nash's "The Tale of Custard the Dragon"
"Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor. ~Ogden Nash"
I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it. -Ogden Nash, poet (1902-1971)
The reason for much matrimony is patrimony.-Ogden Nash
'To be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is' (Ogden Nash 1902-1971)
Challenge your brain today and try to memorize this fun poem! The Panther By Ogden Nash The panther is like a leopard, Except it hasn't been peppered. Should you behold a panther crouch, Prepare to say Ouch. Better yet, if called by a panther, Don't anther.
The turtle lives twixt plated decks Which properly conceals its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile Ogden Nash
Photo: Closing in on this commission for Ogden Nash’s “The Tale of Custard the Dragon”.
I've been a bit gloomy in recent posts, so here is an insightful quote from a favourite poet (Ogden Nash) to end a personally dismal, but blissfully wet week: "The truth I do not stretch or shove When I state that the dog is full of love. I've also found, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest."
Oops! Welcome gals & guys to the unalterable fact, getting old! Enjoy and ride a fact of life. It's getting near and somewhere! As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer. - Robert Quillen For the first half of your life, people tell you what you should do; for the second half, they tell you what you should have done. - Richard Needham When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile. - George Burns There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it. - Patrick Moore Middle age ends and senescence begins, the day your descendant's outnumber your friends. - Ogden Nash Age mellows some people; others it makes rotten. - Anonymous Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner You know you're getting old when everything hurt. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work. - Hy Gardne .. ...
Courtesy of Tony Finstrom: 1907 - Birthday of Sir LAURENCE OLIVIER (1907-1989), preeminent British actor of his generation, born today in Dorking, England. 1945 - Paul Robeson stars as Shakespeare's OTHELLO at City Center for 24 performances opposite Uta Hagen's Desdemona, beginning tonight. Margaret Webster directs this Theatre Guild production. Jose Ferrer is featured as Iago. Setting: Venice and Cyprus. 1956 - Joel Grey, Tammy Grimes, Charlotte Rae and Larry Storch open tonight in THE LITTLEST REVUE, for a 32-performance run at the Phoenix Theatre. Conceived by Ben Bagley, the music & lyrics are mostly supplied by Vernon Duke & Ogden Nash. Paul Lammers directs, and Charles Weidman is the choreographer. 1961 - Kyle Onstott's novel of slavery in the old South, MANDINGO, is dramatized by Jack Kirkland and opens tonight at the Lyceum Theatre for a run of just eight performances. Directed by Louis MacMillan, the cast includes Franchot Tone, Dennis Hopper, Arnold Soboloff and Brooke Hayward. Setting: ...
I just read that poet Ogden Nash, like Edgar Allen Poe and H.L. Mencken, was a Baltimorean. Something in the water? Although the water never hurt him, what killed him (or at least aggravated the process) was a bad batch of coleslaw. It almost seems worthy of an ironic little quatrain...
Day 4 of heavyweight light versist Ogden Nash weighs in: "Who wants my jellyfish?/ I'm not sellyfish." Thanks,
THE TRUE STORY OF "PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON" Now, we've all heard the song, but very few know the back story. When I was young, in the wild & free 60's, this song came out. Even as young as I was, it made me cry, because of the inference to the loss of a child's innocence, when a child grows up and stops believing in magic, and puts away childish things. Very much like the story of "Jessie" from "Toy Story 2", which also made me cry (Hey, I'm a wimp, okay?) Anyway, here's the back story and the TRUTH about "Puff": The lyrics for "Puff, the Magic Dragon" were based on a 1959 poem by Leonard Lipton, a 19-year-old Cornell University student. Lipton was inspired by an Ogden Nash poem titled "Custard the Dragon", about a "realio, trulio little pet dragon." The lyrics tell a story of the ageless dragon Puff and his playmate Jackie Paper, a little boy who grows up and loses interest in the imaginary adventures of childhood and leaves Puff alone and depressed. (Because of the line "A dragon lives forever, but ...
From Andrea Vance: Everyone reading this: consider yourself tagged. The Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen authors ( poets included ) who've influenced you and that will always stick with you. List the first 15 you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Tag at least 15 friends, including me, because I'm interested in seeing what authors my friends choose. To do this copy this intro and start your list. (in no particular order): Robin McKinley, Robert Heinlein, Andre Norton, Anne McCaffrey, Robert Frost, Chris Claremont, Julian May, L. Frank Baum, Norton Juster, Maeve Binchy, Stephen King, Joss Whedon, Mary Stewart, Mercedes Lackey, Ogden Nash
That's *GOOD.*. Ogden Nash, presumably in heaven, is envious.
.You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation.You're sunk from a riot of relaxation.Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash. Go ahead, sneer if you must. But he's but turns insightful, playful and wistful.
National Poetry Month - Posting poems this month ( you should too!) Bankers Are Just Like Anybody Else, Except Richer Frederic Ogden Nash (Rye NY, August 19, 1902 – May 19, 1971) This is a song to celebrate banks, Because they are full of money and you go into them and all you hear is clinks and clanks, Or maybe a sound like the wind in the trees on the hills, Which is the rustling of the thousand dollar bills. Most bankers dwell in marble halls, Which they get to dwell in because they encourage deposits and discourage withdrawals, And particularly because they all observe one rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it, Which is you must never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it. I know you, you cautious conservative banks! If people are worried about their rent it is your duty to deny them the loan of one nickel, yes, even one copper engraving of the martyred son of the late Nancy Hanks; Yes, if they request fifty dollars to pay for a baby you must look at them like Tarzan l ...
Always Marry An April Girl . by Ogden Nash. Praise the spells and bless the charms,. I found April in my arms.
by Ogden Nash… SPRING COMES TO MURRAY HILL I sit in an office at 244 Madison Avenue And say to myself You have a responsible job, havenue? Why then do you fritter away your time on this doggerel? If you have a sore throat you can cure it by using a good goggerel, If you have a sore foot you can get it fixed by a chiropodist, And you can get your original sin removed by St. John the Bopodist, Why then should this flocculent lassitude be incurable? Kansas City, Kansas, proves that even Kansas City needn't always be Missourible. Up up my soul! This inaction is abominable. The pilgrims settled Massachusetts in 1620 when they landed on a stone hummock. Maybe if they were here now they would settle my stomach. Oh, if I only had the wings of a bird Instead of being confined on Madison Avenue I could soar in a jiffy to Second or Third. The Best of Ogden Nash. © Ivan R. Dee, 2007. for DB NYC Angel Fountain In The Spring, oil painting Stacy Ingram, contemporar ...
Nine Miles To The Railroad The country is a funny place I like to look it in the face, And everywhere I look I see Some kind of animal or tree. Indeed I frequently remark The country is rather like a park. The country cows give milk and moo Just like their sisters in the zoo The rural squirrel in his rage Chirks like a squirrel in a cage. Animals in their joys and passions Like women, follow city fashions. The horses here pull plows and carts All day until the sun departs. In summer, or when fields are frosted They work until they are exhausted. Next, to the track themselves they hie To be bet upon by the likes of I. As through the countryside you pass You look at grass and still more grass. Grass leers at you where ever you turn Until your tired eyelids burns. They ought to break it up, or soften it With pretty signs saying please keep offen it. I like the country very much It's good to hear and smell and touch. It makes you feel akin with Nature Though wobbly on her nomenclature. I'd free my lungs of ci ...
"April soft in flowered languor, . April cold with sudden anger" . ~ Always marry an April Girl, Ogden Nash.
The trouble with a kitten is that When it grows up, it's always a cat ― Ogden Nash.
Celery raw develops the jaw, But celery stewed is more quietly chewed. - Ogden Nash
There is nothing more perky than a masculine turkey. When he struts he struts with no ifs or buts. When his face is apoplectic his harem grows hectic, and when he gobbles their universe wobbles. --Ogden Nash-- This turkey visited my yard this morning.
GRAMMAR ALARM: An official from the Malaysian airplane search said that objects floating at the site could be "flotsam from fishing activities." Wrong! "Flotsam" is what they hoped to find (remnants of a disaster); trash from fishing boats is "jetsam"(it's been "jettisoned".) "Want some flotsam? I've gotsam. Want some jetsom? I can getsam." (My cousin, Ogden Nash)
Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for. ― Ogden Nash
“Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.” - Ogden Nash
Moving toward August & the centenary of the Great War, birth of wanton mod-mechanical slaughter leaving 37 million dead for no reason at all, I'll be looking at poems of Brooke, Sassoon, Trakl & others. And of the black-humored mystic wordsmith Christian Morgenstern, an Ogden Nash gone dark, who died just before the war.
I think I saw a purple trillium, i always hope to see one. When it comes to four strange leaves, I’d rather see than be one. - Trilium raw develops the jaw, but trillium stewed is more quietly chewed. Thanks Ogden Nash.
Juliet Johnson recites The Common Cold by Ogden Nash...before we sang it!
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. ― Ogden Nash
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. ― Ogden Nash
I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it. -Ogden Nash: I think remorse ought ...
'I Didn't Go to Church Today' by Ogden Nash, and the literary and historical notes for Saturday, March 29, 2014.
Oh, to be Odd by Ogden Nash Hypochondriacs Spend the winter at the bottom of Florida and the summer on top of the Adirondriacs. You go to Paris and live on champagne wine and cognac If you're dipsomognac. If you're a manic-depressive You don't go anywhere where you won't be cheered up, and people say "There, there!" if your bills are excessive. But you stick around and work day and night and night and day with your nose to the sawmill. If you're nawmill.
Where There's a Will, There's Velleity (by Ogden Nash). Seated one day at the dictionary I was pretty weary and...
How are we to survive? Solemnity is not the answer, any more than witless and irresponsible frivolity is. I think our best chance lies in humor, which in this case means a wry acceptance of our predicament. We don't have to like it but we can at least recognize its ridiculous aspects, one of which is ourselves.-Ogden Nash
When I consider how my life is spent, I hardly ever repent - Ogden Nash
For those of you who don't know who Ogden Nash is, I guarantee, you do. Here's why,...
Toothache is more nagging than a nagging wife and more irritating than an ex-girlfriend,” . Ogden Nash.
Why do I remember silly shtuff like this? The one-L lama, he's a priest The two-L llama, he's a beast And I would bet a silk pajama There isn't any three-L lllama! ~ Ogden Nash
"D is for Dean, The grammatical Diz, When they asked, Who's the tops? Said correctly, I is." --- Ogden Nash
hey, use your poetic license... Ogden Nash would've had fun with it!
"Where there is a monster, there is a miracle." ~Ogden Nash
Where there is a monster, the wise American poet Ogden Nash told us, there is a miracle
One bliss for which there is no match Is when you itch to up and scratch Yet doctors and dowagers depreciate scratching Society ranks it with spitting and snatching And Medical circles consistently hold That scratching is wicked as feeding a cold. *** writhers and wrigglers how long may ye suffer The medical tyrant, the social rebuffer On the edge of the door let our shoulder blades rub Let the drawing room now be as free as free as the tub "Neith tile or thatch, that man is rich who has a scratch for every itch I'm greatly attached to Barbara Fritchie' I'll bet she scratched when she was itchie. With apologies to Ogden Nash for truncating his poem.
I want to live in Algeria,where the beer is much beerier. eat your heart out Ogden Nash :)). this stream of thought may be expanded,good night peoploids x
Today on fun-for-Friday FAIC bonus round: Ogden Nash is alive and well at Reuters.
Feel free to address me as Custard for awhile... THE TALE OF CUSTARD THE DRAGON By Ogden Nash Copyright Linell Nash Smith and Isabel Nash Eberstadt Belinda lived in a little white house, With a little black kitten and a little gray mouse, And a little yellow dog and a little red wagon, And a realio, trulio, little pet dragon. Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink, And the little gray mouse, she called her Blink, And the little yellow dog was sharp as Mustard, But the dragon was a coward, and she called him Custard. Custard the dragon had big sharp teeth, And spikes on top of him and scales underneath, Mouth like a fireplace, chimney for a nose, And realio, trulio, daggers on his toes. Belinda was as brave as a barrel full of bears, And Ink and Blink chased lions down the stairs, Mustard was as brave as a tiger in a rage, But Custard cried for a nice safe cage. Belinda tickled him, she tickled him unmerciful, Ink, Blink and Mustard, they rudely called him Percival, They all sat laughing in the li ...
Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor. - Ogden Nash
When Ogden Nash couldn't think of anything to write about in his comedic couplets, he was not a-mused.
Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early? - Ogden Nash
Always reminded of Ogden Nash - wen I have to frequent that dentist chair
Ogden Nash said it best: If you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, your not gonna make it with anyone anyhow ...
End your day with a smile. The Cow LOL poem by the 1 & only Ogden Nash
On the relative merits of aphrodisiacs, Ogden Nash quipped: "Candy's dandy; but liquor's quicker." Asked in the 70s to up-date his maxim in view of the popularity of weed, he opined: "Pot's not." Ogden's wrong then.
A Lady Who Thinks She Is Thirty Unwillingly Miranda wakes, Feels the sun with terror, One unwilling step she takes, Shuddering to the mirror. Miranda in Miranda's sight Is old and gray and dirty; Twenty-nine she was last night; This morning she is thirty. Shining like the morning star, Like the twilight shining, Haunted by a calendar, Miranda is a-pining. Silly girl, silver girl, Draw the mirror toward you; Time who makes the years to whirl Adorned as he adored you. Time is timelessness for you; Calendars for the human; What's a year, or thirty, to Loveliness made woman? Oh, Night will not see thirty again, Yet soft her wing, Miranda; Pick up your glass and tell me, then-- How old is Spring, Miranda? Ogden Nash
“Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.” ― Ogden Nash, Hard Lines
For all my F3 peeps that have been sneezing, sniffling and coughing.. Common Cold Go hang yourself, you old M.D.! You shall not sneer at me. Pick up your hat and stethoscope, Go wash your mouth with laundry soap; I contemplate a joy exquisite I'm not paying you for your visit. I did not call you to be told My malady is a common cold. By pounding brow and swollen lip; By fever's hot and scaly grip; By those two red redundant eyes That weep like woeful April skies; By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff; By handkerchief after handkerchief; This cold you wave away as naught Is the damnedest cold man ever caught! Give ear, you scientific fossil! Here is the genuine Cold Colossal; The Cold of which researchers dream, The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme. This honored system humbly holds The Super-cold to end all colds; The Cold Crusading for Democracy; The Führer of the Streptococcracy. Bacilli swarm within my portals Such as were ne'er conceived by mortals, But bred by scientists wise and hoary In some Olympic l ...
A few years ago when Alan King owned and ran the non-alcohol night-club 'The Cavern' downtown, he used to have a Thursday poetry reading night. I put together a couple of Jack Prelutsky and Ogden Nash poems. And for variety I wrote one of my own. In my typically cynical style the poem was about cable news pundits in general and Chris Mathews in particular. Especially his pompously named show "Chris Mathews and Hardball". CHRIS MATHEWS AND HARDBALL by Tony Williams CHRIS MATHEWS AND HARDBALL of MSNBC, Of all the cable pundits, He's the hardest S.O.B. He'll ask the hardest question, He'll make the hardest call, He'll give you indigestion, CHRIS MATHEWS AND HARDBALL He plays hardball with welfare moms from Memphis And with doctors from Duluth, He'll take lousy lawyers from east L.A. And demand they tell the truth. He'll hit 'em hard. As hard as *** No matter where the chips may fall. You wonder how big his head can swell, CHRIS MATHEWS AND HARDBALL I saw CHRIS MATHEWS AND HARDBALL One night when George ...
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind. -Ogden Nash, poet (1902-1971)
The Purist by Ogden Nash I give you now Professor Twist, A conscientious scientist, Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles!" And sent him off to distant jungles. Camped on a tropic riverside, One day he missed his loving bride. She had, the guide informed him later, Been eaten by an alligator. Professor Twist could not but smile. "You mean," he said, "a crocodile."
“The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually beomes a cat.” Ogden Nash
The satire is just too much. :D Song To Be Sung by the Father of Infant Female Children by Ogden Nash My heart leaps up when I behold A rainbow in the sky; Contrariwise, my blood runs cold When little boys go by. For little boys as little boys, No special hate I carry, But now and then they grow to men, And when they do, they marry. No matter how they tarry, Eventually they marry. And, swine among the pearls, They marry little girls. Oh, somewhere, somewhere, an infant plays, With parents who feed and clothe him. Their lips are sticky with pride and praise, But I have begun to loathe him. Yes, I loathe with loathing shameless This child who to me is nameless. This bachelor child in his carriage Gives never a thought to marriage, But a person can hardly say knife Before he will hunt him a wife. I never see an infant (male), A-sleeping in the sun, Without I turn a trifle pale And think is he the one? Oh, first he'll want to crop his curls, And then he'll want a pony, And then he'll think of pretty girls, An ...
I love you more than a wasp can sting, And more than the subway jerks, I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch, And more than a hangnail irks. I swear to you by the stars above, As the High Court loathes perjurious oaths, That's how you're loved by me. - Ogden Nash 1961
Four Prominent *** (Ogden Nash) I'm an autocratic figure in these democratic states A dandy demonstration of hereditary traits. As the children of the b...
You're only young once, but you can stay immature forever" -Ogden Nash
A CAUTION TO EVERYBODY Ogden Nash Consider the auk; Becoming extinct because he forgot how to fly, and could only walk. Consider man, who may well become extinct Because he forgot how to walk and learned how to fly before he thinked.
A flea and a fly in a flue Were imprisoned, so what could they do? Said the fly, "Let us flee!" "Let us fly!" said the flea. So they flew through a flaw in the flue. That's by Ogden Nash, who was totes genius at this caper.
Moe's favorite poet is Ogden Nash. You should see him rock out to this cajun-inspired version of "Adventures of Isabel" by Natalie Merchant. So fun (if you can forgive the banjo appearance in a Cajun tune).
Since Sally ran off with her obstetrician Her hair's turned red and she looks like a Titian Of course, I'd hate to swear in court What kind of Titian: beaut' or mort' Ogden Nash era un
A Drink With Something In It There is something about a Martini, A tingle remarkably pleasant; A yellow, a mellow Martini; I wish I had one at present. There is something about a Martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth-- I think that perhaps it's the gin. Ogden Nash
Someone asked me what a natural aphrodisiac was. Answer: Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker--ogden nash Personally I think it's mental. The largest human sex organ is the human mind. .also the company you're with.. The Rhino is practically extinct because of the misguided mythology that powdered Rhino horn has aphrodisiac quality. A twinkie would be as much of an aphrodisiac if you believe it was so. In the final analysis however, the only real aphrodisiac is youth. I write about this in some length in my new book, because men believe that they are the only ones who need stimulation. It ain't so, boys.
Why does Ogden Nash allege that Camille Saint-Saens was wracked with pains?
Musings in the shower: We have owned four houses, starting in 1972 when we bought our first house in Rochester, NY. Each one has had glass shower doors. Yet it was only recently that I found out, via my handyman husband, that the little, clear, protective plastic strip at the bottom of the shower door can be replaced when it becomes tattered and no longer stops the water from running out onto your bathroom floor. Proof positive that one can be book smart and life stupid. But all you Life Smarties out there already knew that, right? Kind of reminds me of the lines from an old Ogden Nash poem that go (approximately), "It dawned on me that in life's race I was off to a delayed start when, at the age of forty-seven, I discovered that the name of the song that skaters always waltz to is "The Skater's Waltz" So, since life happens every day and my chances of getting on Jeopardy are slim, I'd be better off pursuing life smartness. But the greatest good is to pursue a relationship with God.
The Abominable Snowman I've never seen an abominable snowman, I'm hoping not to see one, I'm also hoping, if I do, That it will be a wee one. Ogden Nash
Many thanks and kudos to Alex La Clair for his great narration of Anthony Plog's "Animal Ditties" (poetry by Ogden Nash) at yesterday's Ward Virts concert!
At another year I would not boggle Except that when I jog I joggle. Ogden Nash
The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have a common enemy. ~Sam Levenson Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. ~Author Unknown What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure. ~Gene Perret Grandmothers are just antique little girls. ~Author Unknown Grandfathers are just antique little boys. ~Author Unknown Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~Welsh Proverb A child needs a grandparent, anybody's grandparent, to grow a little more securely into an unfamiliar world. ~Charles and Ann Morse A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television. ~Author Unknown What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. ~Rudy Giuliani A house needs a grandma in it. ~Louisa May Alcott Our grandchildren accept us for ours ...
Who likes quotes? I have decided to adopt Ogden Nash.
Family: Funny Quotes Laughter is good for us. Whether we are laughing at ourselves, our families, or life in general, laughter can help us cope with life and stay positive. Here are some funny quotes about family that will make you laugh, maybe out loud. Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts. - Unknown My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called “Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film”. - Penelope Lombard If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion. - Ashleigh Brilliant Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry'. - Margaret Laurence Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts. - Wayne H. Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist. - Michael Levine A family is a unit composed not on ...
making cauliflower bhaji while listening to BBC Radio 4's Poetry Please, with my foot elevated on the counter, and with a bag of frozen peas strapped on it. The smell of spices, the sound of Ogden Nash read in a British accent, the cold touch of the ice: relatively heavenly.
"It is it now or always" By Ogden Nash "Is it for now or for always, The world hangs on a stalk? Is it a trick or a trysting-place, The woods we have found to walk? Is it a mirage or miracle, Your lips that lift at mine: And the suns like a juggler's juggling-balls, Are they a sham or a sign? Shine out, my sudden angel, Break fear with breast and brow, I take you now and for always, For always is always now."
THE INFLUENCE OF OGDEN NASH ON MY LIFE As a little kid growing up in Chilliwack I often heard the poetry of poet Ogden Nash, initially without knowing his name...nonsense poetry that was said to me by my father at the most interesting, memorable and even unexpected times. As I started to write this particular post I even surprised myself at how much of an influence Ogden Nash had throughout my life and my sometimes quirky sense of humour. I remember at Bernard Elementary School having to write a short report on an animal from South America and I asked my dad what kinds of animals there were there. He asked if I meant wild animals like jaguars or anteaters or a farmed animal like a llama. When I asked about a llama he described what one would look like and that they could be used for food or making clothing from their hair. This interested me and I decided to write about llamas. He spelled it for me and said it was important to use two ‘Ls’ or people might think I was referring to a priest from Ti ...
So, that tentative schedule I promised: here 'tis. Each number a class day; mostly just poet's names so far, rather than particular poems, but you'll get the gist of it. A few notes in brackets. Love to hear thoughts & suggestions! 1. Introduction to the Class and to Each Other 2. More introduction: the Desert, the Town, the City, the Modern: Harriet Monroe, “Radio” (18), “Frances Densmore (22-23), Mary Austin, “The Grass on the Mountain” (24), Masters, Robinson, Sandburg, Lola Ridge (and Eliot’s “Preludes”) 3. Rural Jurors: Frost, Jeffers 4. Lizette Woodworth Reese, Edith Wharton, Teasdale, Wylie, Hazel Hall, Taggard 5. Moore, Bogan [Would love to do Moore separately, but not sure where else to put Bogan.] 6. Elsa von Freytag-Loringhoven, Stein, Loy, Riding (maybe) 7. Pound 8. Eliot 9. H.D. (Maybe with the opening of the HD book alongside) 10. Amy Lowell, Edna Millay (poet as diva), Dorothy Parker 11. Cummings, Ogden Nash, Don Marquis 12. Light Verse and Tin Pan Alley song: Nash, P ...
“Tonight’s December thirty-first, Something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, Like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!” ― Ogden Nash, Collected verse from 1929 on
Past aft I praised Robert Benchley; last eve I read Anita Loos, Ogden Nash, and Don Marquis. The spouse frets re Fascists in Greece and Sochi. Methinks my new year is nineteen forty-three!
I'm fairly sure a similar sentiment is thought of myself. The tobogganing part. New Yorker founder Harold Ross was a brilliant magazine editor, but his personal appearance was distinctly unprepossessing. “His hair sticks straight up, his teeth stick straight out, his eyes slant, and his expression is always that of a man who had just swallowed a bug,” wrote Ogden Nash. Alexander Woollcott said he looked like a dishonest Abe Lincoln. Staff member Janet Flanner remembered, “His face was homely, with a pendant lower lip; his teeth were far apart, and when I first knew him, after the First World War, he wore his butternut-colored thick hair in a high, stiff pompadour, like some gamecock’s crest.” Indeed, Ross’ first wife said he was the homeliest man she’d ever met. “There was certainly a mismating of his head, his hands and his feet to his gaunt, angular body; his hands, though he learned to use them gracefully, were too large; so were his feet, and his ears and his mouth were also oversized ...
I was listening to public radio and they were interviewing an author that cited Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory as his favorite movie of all time (Gene Wilder, not Johnny Depp) because of the countless hidden literary references. It looked like a good last week of fall semester fun day for my friends that teach secondary literature. I found a blog that posted a good article on the subject to get started, but I'm not sure I agree with the Ogden Nash 'Home 99 44/100% Sweet Home' safe combination reference. He doesn't say 'sweet' as in the poem and as you would expect for a candy factory safe, but instead says 'pure'. "99 & 44/100% Pure" was the slogan for Ivory soap several decades before Ogden Nash did his writing.
. God, in his wisdom, made the fly. And then forgot to tell us why. Ogden Nash. . I just had to do that!
"When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~Ogden Nash"
Apocalypse is getting close But they're more focused on that lil youth sippin' sodaat you won't have to work, ~Ogden Nash
Practicing your signature over and over again, just incase you become famous,an people who work standing up - Ogden Nash
Charlotte delivers some marriage advice from Ogden Nash.
Bitterness is like cancer, It eats upon the host, But anger is like fiu ever try buying then without ? Ogden Nash
App store review by Ogden Nash: "the apps is amazing but it quits randomically."
I'd gladly give up all my cash, so I could write like Ogden Nash.
If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work (Ogden Nash)
Thankfully, Ogden Nash did it for me. The ultimate in-bed-w/a-cold-poem & an accurate description of how I'm feeling
The Trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a Cat - Ogden Nash
So One Direction "What did you think of Mileynd the telephone rings and you hope it isnâ€™t for you,â€- Ogden Nash
Been listening to the new One Touch of Venus on Joy records (through i tunes, which I had never downloaded or used. I did it with only minor invocations to the Virgin. I want a star!). It's my favorite Weill Broadway score, the only one, it seems to me, to capture the endless inventiveness, sardonic humor and sour pathos of his Berlin work with the greatest Bertolt Brecht, though in a jazzier style. This has his original orchestration and he was a great ochestrator; it also includes ALL the music, including some tricky ensemble passages precisely done. The cast all have good voices and get the style more or less; but the wonderful (if troubled) John McGlinn did a complete performance of Venus in London, book (actually funny and not too wordy as was typical of the time written by Perelman and Nash) and the songs are even better in context and by rehearsing (however briefly) the text and their characters the cast get the many colors and wit of the songs more firmly (brilliant lyrics by Ogden Nash with some ...
To keep brimming the marital cup, . when wrong admit it, . when right shut up!. -Ogden Nash
"I've never heard of this reverse plagiarism/ Let's hope it doesn't have contagiourism" Ogden Nash
Those Old Fans of My Youth made with forged and tempered steel (spilling its white phosphorescence in a sooty Pittsburgh circa 1965) with those propeller-shaped blades that were sharp enough to chop our little digits plum off, just as well as any white-apronned butcher, on blood-stained sawdust, meaty fingers wrapped around his dripping cleaver. Our blood would surely spurt out like an untapped oil derrick, Spindletop, all over again, and just as sure, all our female relatives--the oddest assortment of married and spinster aunts, grandmas and cousins twice removed--would faint at the sight of our fingerless hands. And, then, of course, where would we be with no fingers to dial the operator? And shouldn't we have thought about that before we did what we oughtn't? I like light poetry but rarely write any that's any good. It all comes out as bad Ogden Nash, but this poem is about as close to being light as I ever get. It got an honorable mention in a Dallas Poetry Community poetry contest. I put the whole th ...
Professional men, they have no cares; Whatever happens, they get theirs.~Ogden Nash
Looking for a not terribly sappy love quote/poem line/song lyric (fairly short) and found this: Lao-Tzu Kindness in words creates confidence; kindness in thinking creates profoundness; kindness in giving creates love. Iris Murdoch We can only learn to love by loving. Goethe To be loved for what one is, is the greatest exception. The great majority love in others only what they lend him, their own selves, their version of him. Aristotle Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Voltaire Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination. Mae West Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for. Mother Teresa Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand. John Keats Now a soft kiss -- Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. Thoreau There is no remedy for love but to love more. Buddha You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. Iris Murdoch Love is the difficult realization that so ...
My mother just came home and said 'I forgot the things I cannot remember' *LOL* If I believed in past lives...I might say she was once Mrs. Ogden Nash!
There is not a shred of evidence that life is serious. - Ogden Nash
To all my friends at work who seem to battling a bug this week: (by Ogden Nash) Wishing you health and a bottle of Vitamin C!! The Germ A mighty creature is the germ, Though smaller than a pachyderm. His customary dwelling place Is deep within the human race. His childish pride he often pleases By giving people strange diseases. Do you, my poppet, feel infirm? You probably contain a germ.
THE COW. The cow is of the bovine ilk; . One end is moo, the other, milk. OGDEN NASH. .
“When I was 16, my English teacher tried to interest me in Mr. Frost's guy who stopped in the woods to see snow fall and Mr. Eliot's guy who was not sure whether he should eat a peach, but it was like serving bran flakes to someone who'd eaten buttermilk pancakes slathered with maple syrup. Once you've read Lewis Carroll and Ogden Nash and W.S. Gilbert and orated Annabel Lee and discovered the great Anon who gave us There was a young man of Antietam And Passengers will please refrain from flushing toilets while the train is standing in the station, I love you There is no turning back. Call it light verse or call it peanut butter, it's your bent. Why would you stand in the snowy woods at night when you could be the very model of a modern major-general with information vegetable, animal, and mineral?” — Garrison Keillor
I'd rather be a great bad poet than a bad good poet. - Ogden Nash
Reflection on Babies. A bit of talcum is always walcum. - Ogden Nash
Male - Female Tribal Wisdom - By Frank Farrelly Thursday 22nd October 2009 Whether we are aware of them or not, or acknowledge them or not, we all willy-nilly have out assumptive sets. These function to organise our experiences; they are lenses through which we view out relationships. Some of them are more general in nature, some are highly specific. Most of the following statements are derived from my clinical practice, others from clinical colleagues, conversations with friends (both male and female and unguarded moments). You have your own set of assumptions about the other half of the earth’s population, the opposite sex. Before you read these, it might be instructive to write down ten perceptions or beliefs or pieces of advice that you were taught about the opposite sex, teachings from your parents, and friends throughout your life. Write these in simple declarative sentences, preferably using words such as “always” or “never”. Female Tribal Wisdom 1. All men are animals. (If they are ...
Ogden Nash - who wrote very well about HR's challenges
we're heading back to Ogden Nash territory!
The camel has a single hump;. The dromedary two;. Or else the other way around. I'm never sure. Are you?. -- Ogden Nash
"Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for." Ogden Nash
It was National Poetry Day yesterday and it got us talking. These are our favourite poems, what's yours? Nick - Prayer Before Birth by Louis Macneice - - Between Us Now - Thomas Hardy -- The Termite by Ogden Nash - - I Wanna Be Yours - John Cooper Clarke - yesterday)
This weather is only good for ducks! So - a poem by Ogden Nash: Behold the duck. It does not cluck. A cluck it lacks. It quacks. It is specially fond Of a puddle or pond. When it dines or sups, It bottoms ups. There we go
Plan a cheat meal once a week, This will keep your body guessing and losing weight,at you won't have to work, ~Ogden Nash
"some pains are physical some are mental, but one that is both is dental" - Ogden Nash, Its going to hurt just a little bit ! :)
Guys,i love the words of ogden nash who once said ;"to keep your courtship brimming with love in the loving cup,wheneva u are wrong,admit it,wheneva u are right,shut up"
Yesterday's quote was by-:-) - .Albert Camus. : today's quote.. " The only time you really live fully is from thirty to sixty. The young are slaves to dreams; the old servants of regrets. Only the middle-aged have all their five senses in the keeping of their wits. " The Hint: This person born December 8, 1889 – December 28, 1949 was an American author. He was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He graduated from University of Pittsburgh in 1915, where he also became a member of the Sigma Chi Fraternity. He served as a Lieutenant in the 28th (keystone) Division, United States Army during the World War I and fought in the Aisne-Marne offensive July–August 1918. He wrote "Toward the Flame" (1926), a nonfictional account of his experiences in the war. He is best known for his work Anthony Adverse. He also planned a series of novels about colonial America called The Disinherited. He completed three works in the series: The Forest and the Fort (1943), Bedford Village (1944), and Toward the Morning (1948) ...
“He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance.” ― Ogden Nash, I'm a Stranger Here Myself
''Marriage is a recognition of spiritual identity. Pls men if u really value ur marriage always admit wen u r wrong nd shut up wen u r right'' Ogden Nash
And because you can never have too many bee poems, here's a silly one too! Verse - Ogden Nash I eat my peas with honey I’ve done it all my life It makes the peas taste funny But it keeps them on the knife!
"Si no queréis trabajar, necesitáis trabajar para ganar suficiente dinero para no trabajar más." (Ogden Nash)
When there are monsters there are miracles.-- Ogden Nash
Spondee, Trochee, Iambic Verse Quatrain, Tercet, it just gets worse Terza Rima, Stanzas and such Do I like these classic forms? Not much! Give me Meter, Rhythm that's free With loads of Odes I recite with glee Not for me the poetic peer But Ogden Nash and Edward Lear Just preparing for NATIONAL POETRY DAY TOMORROW! Sorry!
...'Here's a good rule of THUMB...Too clever is DUMB'...Ogden Nash 1949
Some pictures from our wanderings yesterday--the bridge in the photo is from 1903--amazing piece of archetecture. We walked along the lake shore and just enjoyed the sand, the sky, the breeze and those funny old Sea Gulls--"Hark to the wimper of the Sea Gull, he's sad because he's not an E-Gull...What if you were you silly Sea Gull, could you explain it to your She-Gull". With thans from Ogden Nash.
Louis Weeks is filming a wee baby music video at our house tonight. He needs an intimate audience for the shoot. Come by at 7 pm if you're free and already know where our house is. His music sometimes sounds like the score to a sexy indie movie about butter and toast and their mellow yet rich longing for each other. It sometimes sounds like what your toes talk about all the way at the bottom of your feet when you're looking through a telescope at stars far away. But mostly sounds like Walt Whitman and Ogden Nash using the internet together.
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. -Ogden Nash
The door of a bigoted mind open outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly. --Ogden Nash
Golden Globes Charlie Hebdo White House Ohio State Paul Ryan Central Command New Year Golden Globe Detroit Auto Show Islamic State Middle East Tina Fey Stephen Colbert Ted Cruz David Cameron Boko Haram Late Show Cristiano Ronaldo Phi Kappa Psi President Obama College Football Playoff Lionel Messi Joan Rivers Alexis Sanchez James Risen Goldman Sachs Twin Peaks Eddie Redmayne Elizabeth Warren John Fox Means Committee Internet Explorer 8 South Dakota Rex Ryan Beastie Boys Ed Miliband Pope Francis House Ways Cadbury Creme Egg Amy Poehler Wall Street Las Vegas Barack Obama Saudi Arabia Liam Neeson Kevin Spacey Kansas City Real Madrid James Bond Six Nations Daily News South Africa Georgie Thompson Celebrity Big Brother General Motors Michael Keaton Necker Island Eric Garner Rolling Stone Old Trafford Kim Kardashian Hong Kong Bruce Rauner Mutual Fund Mark Zuckerberg Jeremy Renner Think You Can Dance Social Security Prophet Muhammad Kiss Cam Giuliana Rancic Army Public School New Mexico Age of Ultron Manuel Neuer John Kerry North Korea Mary Murphy Bill Cosby Century Fox Tuskegee Airmen Supreme Court Van Gaal Channing Tatum Judd Apatow Manchester United Sri Lanka Steven Emerson Columbia University Rosamund Pike Manchester City American International Auto Show Golden Globes Sunday Kamala Harris Mike Huckabee General Election El Capitan Denver Broncos Arne Duncan San Francisco