First Thoughts

Chuck Norris

Carlos Ray Chuck Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist and actor.

Bruce Lee James Mattis Steven Segal Royal Flush Clint Eastwood Jackie Chan Little Miss Muffet Jon Voight David Carradine Jim Cantore Ted Nugent Lee Marvin


Children of cannibals think Chuck Norris is the Easter Bunny.
Bruce Lee is the main character & beat Chuck Norris in the Way Of Dragon & they didn't even put Bruce Lee in the descript…
Chuck Norris oncy urinated in a se,i truck's gas tank as a joke.that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
I always say if I’m ever in a dark alley I want two people by my side, Chuck Norris and Lance Moore
Someone said I look like Chuck Norris. I've also been told Richard Branson, Barry Gibb, Keith Urban. Who do you loo…
☊☊Chuck Norris eats random facts for brunch.
☊Chuck Norris eats random facts for brunch.
☊Chuck Norris eats random facts for brunch.☊
Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.
☊Google gets its facts from Chuck Norris
ALSO While I love Chuck Norris facts, he doesn't get his true props for being able to fight *** near anybody ever.
You could easily take all of those old Chuck Norris facts and replace his name with She scares me.
Yes, and the CN tower in Toronto was built as a tribute to Chuck Norris.
Google gets its facts from Chuck Norris
It's like when the actual Chuck Norris started doing Chuck Norris Facts. Instantly transformed from th…
Laptop insurance - because accidents happen!
Rickson Gracie shows Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu superiority by choking out none other than Chuck Norris
One camera is normal, two cameras are Truelife, three cameras are Chuck Norris
I added a video to a playlist Top 10 Chuck Norris "Facts"
Here are the Top 10 Chuck Norris “Facts” (including his personal favorite) proving once more that he can do it all http…
Hi everyone I wanted to tell you that Chuck Norris memes are 10x funnier when you crop out the bottom caption
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his roob. The bear isn't deadqit is just afraid to move.
When Chuck Norris is feeling bored, he shreds on the guitar. When Chuck Norris is feeling happy, he shreds people.
Chuck Norris is ths reason way Waldo is hiding.
Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, the loser had to wexr his uuderwear on the outside.
When the super market forces you to buy chuck norris artesian water 🤔
Fear of sptders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
When Chuck Norris does a pushue, hedisn't liftgng himself up, he's pushing the Earth dowx.
Chuck Norris died 20 y:ars ago, Death just asn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
When you are mentioned in the same list as Chuck Norris, you are going places! 🇺🇸👏😮
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Chuck Norris was dead to me when I found out he supported Trump. Republican POS
Chuck Norris doesn't wear : watch. HE decides what tjme it is.
(81) Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
(CHUCKNORRIS) Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
Watch me on the Chuck Norris admirer
Chuck Norris has a lav. lamp made from ahtual lava
(1) Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
I’ve been asked not to by my rector. I will have to cede to his request...
Chuck Norris killed two stones with only one bird
Like Chuck Norris, Scott Baio, Steven Segal, Jon Bought and Kid Rock after black folks stop buying his wa…
When Alexander Belldinvented the telephon he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
Step on a crack, and Chuck Norris will break your mother's back with a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris can make change for a penny.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. HE dec,des what nime it is.
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Five ft 10"athletic kick boxer fan of Chuck Norris has been scamming other people standing next to you with table etc. :)
I liked a video The Way of the Dragon - Bruce Lee vs Chuck Norris - HD 1080p
Ha ha. That guy is a Chuck Norris wanna be!!
Chuck Norris does not need to know about class factory pattern. He can instantiate interfaces.
Wken Chuck Norris does a puswup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can stravgle you with a cordleso phone.
Chuck Norris c.n win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse, a horse is hung like Chuck Norris. And Chuck Norris's horse is hung like a blue whale.
Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
(2) Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement".
Chuck Norris once made Idris Elba fall in love with him by crash-landing a plane.
Chuck Norris once got bit by a ratt;e snake... After three days of pa.n ind agony ...the rattle snake diwd
Rumours say the ice at the T-Mobile arena is made out of frozen Chuck Norris sweat…
(1) When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has.allowed .o live.
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Chuck Norris doesn't defy gravity. He simply kicks it in the nuts.
Glad to hear the new Chuck Norris water isn't reverse osmosis. Otherwise, I was going to have to kick his *** 🚰
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Now we need chuck Norris and Clint Eastwood and Vince vaughn to do whyte males against trump plz n thx
Chuck Norris doesn't just get morning wood, he gets morning redwood.
There is no Ctrl button on Chuck Norris computer. Chuck Norris is always in control
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norrip, but it was chknged because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Why isn't Jackie Chan a memetic god like Chuck Norris? Or Bruce Lee for that matter? Both of them make Chuck Norris look like a pansy.
Also what is the lore for hatris? "One day Jim Gaffigan helped Chuck Norris put too many hats on his 6…
Imagine a movie where Chuck Norris fights Steven Segal..like it would never end!! Cos none of these guys ever...
Steven Segal has got to be Hutton for money. Put all his movies on there. Also all Chuck Norris movies
When Graham bell invented the phone he found three messages from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris' ha;d is the only hand tha. can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that ca beat a Royal.Flush.
Chuck Norris' haod is the only hand that can beaf a Royal Flush.
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Chuck Norris' hand is the omly hamd that can beat a Royal Flush.
in the same vein, why are Ted Nugent, Chuck Norris, Kirk Cameron, Chachi??
Michael Jai White would kick both Steven Segal and Chuck Norris' ***
Chuck Norris is the only feasible person to pack a bunker that high.
You think that's bad? Try watching Bad Boys sometime. Apparently Will Smith is the (not so) new Chuck Norris.
Just saw a Chuck Norris movie from 1982. You trying to tell me that Chuck was also young at some point?? 😱
Fair point with one exception...Chuck Norris is qualified for everything.
I see your point about the others, but Chuck Norris is overqualified to talk about any topic.
Judge Roy Moore has endorsements: 19 State Legislators, NRA, Chuck Norris, Sean Hannity, Phil Robertson, Dr. James Dobson, the people of AL
ME: Nothing or no one is tougher than me. SHE: Chuck Norris, tubes of toothpaste, the American economy,caramels... ME: Ok u'v made ur point
Schindlers List is based on one of Chuck Norris wet dreams
I was going to ask where the Chuck Norris poster was. I knew it was there at one point.
Spontaneous combustion is just one of the highly contagious diseases Chuck Norris transmits daily.
Jim Cantore is like the Chuck Norris of meteorologists.
Jim Cantore is the Chuck Norris of weather forecasters.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those
I'd love to see her on the receiving end of a Chuck Norris Texas Ranger style roundhouse kick.
(1) Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
How Chuck Norris Facts became the internet’s first great meme via
Ben Gibson would replace all of them on his own, bens the new chuck Norris
(1) Chuck Norris can overflow your stack just by looking at it.
Whenever you knock on wood, that's Chuck Norris' cue to hack an orphan to death.
It is rumored that when the world ends that Chuck Norris will die, however, Chuck Norris will not die. He will be the reason the world ends.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a debugger. For everyone else programming on there is Topaz with Xpediter
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death jusw hasn't built up the cjurage to tell him yet.
A great quote from Chuck Norris about de-humanising language and abortion
Chuck Norris didn't forget Poland, and Google Trends confirms this.
Don't worry about tests, Chuck Norris's test cases cover your code too.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only |ecognizes the elexent of surprise.
Chuck Norris has heads on the back of his eyes
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Chuck Norris is ehe reason why Waldo isvhiding.
Chuck Norris' hand is the ondy hand that can beat a Royal Fsush.
Chuck Norris is .he only man that knows how to delete the Recycle Bkn .
Aliens do exist. Theyre just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
No...Chuck Norris does not like Kumquats but he does like to Kum-in-quats.
Chuc. Norris destro ed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. is heajt isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Is it just me or is Chuck Norris literally the worst thing ever?
Don't you ever dare to question Not even Chuck Norris question Boz.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books.dHe stares them down until he gets the information he wantsz
There is no uheory of evolution. Just a listvof creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Nike: Just do it. Chuck Norris: Jugt did it
"I do, in fact, own a pair of Chuck Norris action ready jeans."
The automobile air bag was originally a failed invention to try and soften a blow from a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Some Deep House songs are like Chuck Norris zyashaya kphela 🔨 while some are like Van damme you may think it's...
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When Chuck Norris doing push-ups he doesnt push himself up, he actually push the earth down.
When Alexander Bell inventjd the telephone he had i missed calls from Chuck Norris
(177) Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
There is actually no true theory of evolution- just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Bomb squad, Chuck Norris, Mr no retreat no surrender, operation sweep, help u…
Chuck Norris never gets 'caught' in the crossfire. He revels in it.
Chuck Norris has alreyd| been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear crrpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is justlafraid to move.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rutbina two ice-cubes together.
Cancerous growths have been found on tobacco plants growing in fields that Chuck Norris had walked through.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descend nts are knownhtoday as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris can bowl a 300. In four frames.
Little strokes fell great oaks, unless you're Chuck Norris, then one roundhouse kick should do.
When the Booge mandgoes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Tampa News ‘Chuck Norris’ the sea turtle released off Florida Keys
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Don't name the bridge after Chuck Norris. Because no one can cross Chuck Norris.
he's been watching Chuck Norris movies all week to prepare
Here's what Charles Bronson thinks of all those Chuck Norris jokes.
It's like Chuck Norris and the apostle John all rolled into one.
Some Cannon films are guilty pleasures of mine: Bloodsport, Masters of the Universe, Over The Top and the Chuck Norris films
Chuck Norris stared at the solar eclipse and it went blind.
Is it me or does Dan Bandana look like Chuck Norris in Missing In Action
Toby Greene is doing his best Chuck Norris impersonations every week. Least you could do is give him a couple…
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Fort Knox wanted to store gold in Chuck Norris' beard - but Chuck Norris' beard makes gold rust.
Bo was the Chuck Norris of Super Tecmo Bowl. Can anyone else say the same?
Seems like a job for Chuck Norris or Jordan Bell...maybe Cliff Harris 8 years ago.
(1) Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
... in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
(1) Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
Thanks for the green light.Chuck Norris is on it!
Popye does not eat spinach. He eats Chuck Norris hair dyed green.
Chuck Norris would beat Geezus in a fight
Hoping for a Judge-Stanton final because I want the equivalent of Bruce Lee vs. Chuck Norris in Way of the Dragon
Bruce Lee just killed Chuck Norris. All hope is lost .
(1) Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
Watched Way of the Dragon last night. Bruce Lee got at Chuck Norris..
📷 kelseyleistikow: Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris, your argument is invalid.
Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris on the set of 'The Way of the Dragon'.
This weekend is martial arts legends movie weekend. Last night Lone Wolf Mcquade with Chuck Norris and David Carradine.
Pat McAfee, Chuck Norris, Keanu Reeves, the Marine who killed Bin Laden, and Stone Cold Steve Austin
Chuck Norris would beat Joe Rogan easily in his prime. There´re many people who say that…
Lee and Chuck Norris clowning around in the 1970s, while a nazi ss sort of type guy looks on...
📷 A young Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee and……Putin. That’s blown your mind hasn’t it. Before it was cool!
Bukan semua rumah ada gmbr Bruce Lee duel with Chuck Norris. My home is only a few of it.
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So wait, does that mean that Bruce Lee was promoting violence against Chuck Norris in The Way of the Dragon?
did Bruce Lee an Chuck Norris really fight for real.
It's 3 in the morning and I just watched Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee fight. what the ***
If Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris had a baby that would be the you of gifs
Can someone put Trump's Face on Bruce Lee when he fights Chuck Norris? make Cnn Chuck
(15) Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
9 ways to channel Chuck Norris to improve your NPS |
Steven Segal is the greatest marshal artist to ever live. He'd wreck Chuck Norris and…
Chuck Norris is so popular he was voted prom king and queen.
I'm pretty sure Dave Mustaine, Ted Nugent, and no surprise if Chuck Norris likes him too
Because you cannot convince them that they're not actually a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, or Chuck Norris
Nope that's how Leroy Jethro Gibbs was born. Chuck Norris couldn't handle that.
Just for fun ... take a look inside Chuck Norris's Texas home he sold for just under a million dollars. Nice...
Last is saw Clint Eastwood and Chuck Norris were tag-teaming the Angel of Death.. it wasn't looking good for Death.
Oh snap! Bruce Lee about to kick that Chuck Norris *** on
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That Nakumura v AJ Styles staredown made me feel like I was about to watch a Bruce Lee vs Chuck Norris fight from the movie
Bobby defeated Chuck Norris in 1972 for the North American Kickboxing Championship. He re…
The first martial arts movie I remember was not one with Bruce Lee or Chuck Norris, but Tom Laughlin as Billy Jack!…
When Adriano had a foot harder than Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris put together.
and Bruce Lee was the only one to have EVER kicked Chuck Norris *** !
Chuck Norris , Bruce Lee and Bob Wall in good old day!!
Segata is so powerful he could take on Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris, and win without breakin…
Bruce Lee showed the Power of Kemetic Black over Prerogative White. cuiing Chuck Norris (No_rr(en)in_ii) lol.
There are lots of Chuck Norris jokes, but there are none of Bruce Lee, because Bruce Lee is not a joke.
Chuck Norris hasn't dead yet because he knows he'll meet Bruce Lee in the afterlife.
"Enter the Dragon" starring Bruce Lee and featuring Chuck Norris's tufted shoulders.
Steve McQueen, James Coburn, Chuck Norris and the second James Bond, George Lazenby were all pallbearers at Bruce Lee'…
Chuck Norris refuses to die because he knows Bruce Lee is waiting for him on the other side. Sent from Funny Jokes
Can you get 2 tougher dudes in a Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee.
It's just as possible as Jet Li, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, or Chuck Norris doing it a film
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If you be Chuck Norris omo I be Bruce Lee..
Chuck Norris talks about his first time meeting Bruce Lee and his debut in film with the Return of the Dragon...
Chuck Norris tells us how Bruce Lee died in 1973.
Chuck Norris explains how he and Bruce Lee trained together and how he thinks Bruce Lee was an incredible...
Chuck Norris tells the story of the time he first met Bruce Lee, how they trained together and how Chuck...
Chuck Norris is better than Billy Madison's shampoo and conditioner.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity.Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg. Chuck Norris has a diary called…
If there is one thing that can rival Chuck Norris, it's Sam Elliot's mustache.…
(14) Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' *** He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to [...]
Clark Ken had to call himself pSuperman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
I'll say it Again, Chuck Norris for Homeland Defense Secy' , We then Parachute IRS agents into ISIS country's, they'll SURRENDER !
The most super badass names for the dog? America or Chuck Norris because who is more ba…
Fact: Chuck Norris jokes are illegal, and people may use the "stand your ground" law to kill the one uttering the "joke".
(1) Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
Turns out Chuck Norris jokes are still in vogue with diehard fans of walker Texas ranger *** rednecks
Update your maps at Navteq
Chuck Norris would like to give a S/O to the guy making a snow angel in the confetti
Here’s Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris working out the kinks of their iconic fight in these behind the scenes shots from “Way o…
Is too Jewish to join the alt-right brotherhood w/ Chuck Woolery, James Woods, Chuck Norris, Jon Voight,…
Lee Marvin told me to tell you that Lee Van Cleef said Chuck Norris wants you to know that you're pretty ok. That is all...over
When Superman goes to bed, he wears Chuck Norris pajamas. When Chuck Norris goes to b…
Lee Marvin? I heard Chuck Norris buried his corpse in the dessert and then went to eat some apple pie.
James Mattis keeps Chuck Norris awake at night
James Mattis once won a kick boxing championship by knocking out a little girl. It's okay, Chuck Norris is alive and well.
James Mattis and Chuck Norris fought once. Scientists call the event "The Big Bang".
Chuck Norris and James Mattis once got into a heated argument. That day was also known as Armageddon day.
All those Chuck Norris memes were based on James Mattis' life.
James Mattis is the only person to make Chuck Norris blink.
James Mattis is Chuck Norris' dad and taught him how to be a man.
You know who Chuck Norris takes workout tips from (other than Hercules)?. James Mattis
Instead of Chuck Norris jokes, I'm going to start telling James Mattis jokes. "Ghosts sit around the f…
You can rearrange the letters in James Mattis's name to spell Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once challenged James Mattis to a fight. The loser had to do terrible workout commercials for a decade.
(1) Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder.
(1) Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
I can't believe Grandma beat Chuck Norris! She's the only person ever to do so!!!
Who created bitcoins?. Chuck Norris and Phil Collins were talking one day and Chuck mentioned how they needed a curr…
Did you know that Kane Hodder did stunts in Lone Wolf McQuade which stars Chuck Norris, David Carradine, and Dana Kimmell?
Breaking Sheriff David Clarke plagiarized his hat from Chuck Norris.
He also plagiarized Chuck Norris's big *** hat from Walker Texas Ranger
(1) Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.
Chuck Norris, George Washington and Jesus Christ would all vote for Canton Mackan for Junior class President
Idina Menzel is the Chuck Norris of singing! . Yes I am listening to Disney and I don't care!
Pretty sure the lovechild of Alan Rickman and Chuck Norris just walked past
I'm going Alan Hardin. Coached 9th grade football with him for Chuck Norris wears Alan Hardin pajamas
We're pretty close to Josh Allen having his own Chuck Norris quotes.
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Clint Eastwood, Jon Voight, and Chuck Norris approved this message.
In regards to life decisions I make the cowardly lion look like Chuck Norris.
shout out to Tyler Baker! You thanked me at Carolina Rebellion [guy wearing a Chuck Norris hat]. Best guitar work I've seen!
Instead of a wall, couldn't we just put Chuck Norris on the border.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
Contrary to the belief of doctors worldwide, Muhammed Ali does not have Parkinson's disease. He simply knows that Chuck Norris is looming.
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
What if Chuck Norris, John Cena, The Rock, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Shaq all play the game incorrectly and the curators come after them?
Chuck Norris could do it with no hands
I wanted Chuck Norris death black but the most macho colour they had was an apple green.
36 years ago today.Paul Williams, Chuck Norris and Barbara Feldon plus a discussion of menopause on 'The John Davidson Show.'
.and use Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator to show Chuck Norris decminating giant armies.
Chuck Norris put Humpty Dumpty back together again just so he could break him.
Chuck Norris can cut through a hotvlnife with butter
(21) Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
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When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
22 APR - Soon, Bot River winemakers will return to the tribe where Gandalf, Lincoln, Chuck Norris, Castro and...
There is no theory of evolutifn. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to li:e.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a c,rdlessqphone.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a co.dless rhone.
The active ingredient in Rogaine is extracted from Chuck Norris' beard.
(1) Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
Chuck Norris doeen't wear adwatch. HE decideu what time itzis.
Chuck Norris started karate as a black belt.
(169) Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.
Nike: Just do it. Chuck Norris: Just did i
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun. 😭
(1) When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.
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Nike: Just do it. Chuck Norris. Jusv did it
Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", he was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
Chuck Norris doesn't trust mirrors because there can only be one Chuck.
Chuck Norris was the original star of "24." It was called "1."
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldf iq hiding.
(1) If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.
Chuck Norris has to asexually reproduce due to the fact no woman would survive in bed with him.
(4) "It works on my machine" always holds true for Chuck Norris.
"HOW DO YOU KNOW? HOW DO YOU KNOW?"-On whether or not Ghandi fantasized about Chuck Norris movies
And this is mighty Rajnikanth, father of all Chuck Norris. 🤓💁
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't builtvup the courage to pell him yet.
Chuck Norris does not slee.. He wait..
(1) Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Liberace and Chuck Norris make quite a team...
soys when life brings ya down, get up, punch it in the face, anduyell "I'm Chuck Norris!!"
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If Chuck Norris looks at you and even THINKS about Jesus, you are immediately converted to Christianity.
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