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Carolyn Hax |
Carolyn Hax is a writer and columnist for the Washington Post and the author of the eponymous advice column Carolyn Hax — formerly titled Tell Me About It.
"Remember, the outcome you want isn't always the best outcome" Carolyn Hax
Advice from Carolyn Hax: I’ve been with a wonderful man for two years. We’ve discussed at length spending the ...
From Carolyn Hax: Upcoming interracial marriage will call for difficult choices
Carolyn Hax: When weddings and money mean trouble via
Carolyn Hax: Boyfriend isn’t sure he wants to commit to marriage
Carolyn Hax: Agreeing on a baby's name; family trips, loaded with guilt: Carolyn Hax started her a...
Carolyn Hax: How to abandon a wedding tradition via
Carolyn Hax: How to plan a wedding you want without alienating others via
Carolyn Hax: Agreeing on a baby’s name; family trips, loaded with guilt: Adapted from recent online discussio...
Carolyn Hax Live: Advice columnist tackles your problems (Friday, A... starting in 3 mins...
"Deferring pain only compounds it to the point that it can’t be deferred any more." - Carolyn Hax
Daughter unhappy about her marriage, but what can Mom do? via
Carolyn Hax: Worried about a daughter with marriage woes
'State your needs. Don't test people on them'
Ask Carolyn Hax: Silence is best way to help friend quit smoking ...: Dear Carolyn: A dear friend of mine is p...
Carolyn Hax: What to do when someone calls you ‘awful’ - Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: ...
"State your needs, don't test people on them!" You go !!
Wisdom from Carolyn Hax: "State your needs, don't test people on them."
Love this statement from Carolyn Hax: "State your needs, don’t test people on them." Now, if only I could follow that.
Carolyn Hax: Martyr syndrome makes family hard to trust
Caroyn Hax: Boyfriend’s misbehaving kids could be a dealbreaker: Dear Carolyn: I am in a relationship with ...
Carolyn Hax: Readers offer advice on navigating relationships ...
Carolyn Hax: Cold bride-to-be is not a friend worth keepingDetroit Free PressDear Carolyn: I have a friend who...
Carolyn Hax: Brother shouldn't be forced to not get involved with sibling's ex: Question: Our oldest son, "Jay...
Does a brother have a right to ask brother not to date ex? via and CarolynHax
Pal ignored reader’s warning, but now is angry at her anyway: By Carolyn Hax Adapted from a recent online...
Mom grapples with mixed-race dating: Finally I asked her how she felt about his dating a white girl, and she p...
Carolyn Hax: Friend of the jerk seems to have a character flaw, too
Carolyn Hax: Friend gives fair warning to woman with eyes for a jerk
Carolyn Hax: Sons' love triangle becomes dad's dilemma: Cheating is a betrayal; getting along then falling in ...
Carolyn Hax: Sons' love triangle becomes dad's dilemma
Carolyn Hax: Love triangle is, unfortunately, all in the family
Carolyn Hax: Readers sound off on difficult relationships - The ...: Step-families, breakups, marriage and jus...
Carolyn Hax: Readers offer advice on navigating relationships: TANF benefits -- also known as welfare -- would...
Carolyn Hax: Readers offer advice on navigating relationships
Carolyn Hax: Readers offer advice on navigating relationships: A ...
Carolyn Hax: OK with more who love grandchild - The Spokesman Review: Carolyn Hax: OK with more who l...
Carolyn Hax: Readers sound off on difficult relationships via
Carolyn Hax: Readers sound off on difficult relationships While I’m away, readers give the advice. On step-parents...
Carolyn Hax: Readers sound off on difficult relationships
Carolyn Hax: Simple wedding is fine, but there's still no need to rush it - Indianapolis Star :
“Love people for who they are, and not for who you want them to be.” - Carolyn Hax
Her boyfriend stopped wanting sex: Although we've had sex before, my boyfriend of two years has zero interest ...
Carolyn Hax: Taming an urgency to marry via
Carolyn Hax: she wants to get married now, but ...: Dear Carolyn: Is there something to a long engagement? I'v...
Carolyn Hax: Taming an urgency to marry - Washington Post
Carolyn Hax: Taming an urgency to marry
Drop the weight or drop the badgering husband?
Her boyfriend stopped wanting sex: The sexless, childless marriage will give you pain for his or your lifetime...
Parents struggle over right call on relationship: Dear Carolyn • Quick background: I wrote to you before about...
Old flame complicates relationship: Dear Carolyn • My husband, “Jeff,” and I have a really great relationship.
"Are you sure you're ready to marry into the Control Family Robinson?" by
Carolyn Hax: Grandmother already assigning roles to young kids
Sexless love life has woman at a crossroad: Sexless love life has woman at a crossroad. By Carolyn Hax. Commen...
Carolyn Hax: Boyfriend doesn't sound right for you
Carolyn Hax: Is she really ready to marry him and his family?
Carolyn Hax: Date turns into a sales pitch DEAR CAROLYN: While talking to a friend, he might mention tha
Will the advice columnist be a better matchmaker than DL editors?
This pretty much sums up the life of a stay at home mom. It's not as easy as it seems! :)
Turning over a new leaf after 10 years, but what comes next?
Carolyn Hax: Sharing impending motherhood: DEAR CAROLYN: I'm pregnant with our first child. My husband is bei...
DETROIT — Carolyn Hax: Weight fell and the lonely free time multiplied: Dear Carolyn: After being ov...
Carolyn Hax: When is a hug just a hug? How to keep a sister in the loop
Carolyn Hax: Finding meaning in more free time
"Different people go about parenthood in different ways, usually with the best of intentions. Whether you’re judging them or fretting that they all know something you don’t, it’s best not to get too caught up in the ways of other parents. When you need mentors, pick a few you trust." - Carolyn Hax to a young pregnant woman who's asking her husband to accompany her on all medical appointments, to the dismay of a friend
7 Bad Habits That Are Secretly Driving Your Co-Workers Crazy: 4. Engaging in excessive chit-chat. The office is first and foremost a place to get work done, and co-workers can get annoyed if you spend too much time engaging in small talk instead of concentrating on the task at hand. "Watch people's body language," says Carolyn Hax, who writes a syndicated advice column at The Washington Post. "When you're telling that hilarious story about your weekend, are your colleague's eyes on you, or drifting over to her computer screen? If it's the latter, cut yourself off, apologize for getting carried away with your saga and say you'll finish it later. Then, don't finish it later unless your colleague specifically says, 'Hey, you never finished telling me that hilarious story about your weekend.'"
Carolyn Hax: Husband won't stop commenting on wife's weight, exercise habits Adapted from a recent online discussion: Dear Carolyn: I have never been skinny, but I have gone up and down in weight over the past couple years. I am fun, smart, have a good job and am a size 14/16. I dress well and have a ton of friends who like me. The problem? My husband of seven years, partner of much more. He always makes weight and exercise comments to me. And whenever I tell him how much it hurts or bothers me, he says I am scarred... ~GeeK3r
If infuriating man resists attending counseling together "... then you have two things: (1) a solid indication that this issue goes well beyond your weight and into matters of boundaries, kindness, arrogance and entitlement; (2) a decision to make. Is this a deal-breaker for you, those impending 30 years with him all up in your grill, thinking he has that right?" - Carolyn Hax to a woman hectored about her weight by her husband of seven years ...
I have received two positive emails this week about the changes in the Montclairion. I am so happy that people are enjoying it enough to write in about how they love it! I do get some comments around the neighborhood, though, from people who say they never read it at all. If you don't read it often, what type of features would you want to see more of?
Best advice i've heard all week: "[Life can] change faster than a triplet’s diaper. People don’t want rescuers — just equals who don’t treat them like they grew a second head." Thanks Carolyn Hax!
"If you feel compelled to intervene, then wait. When she does 'really unbelievable things' to someone ELSE'S squeeze, you’re free to speak discreetly on everyone’s behalf, hers especially: 'Desperella, what’s going on? That was over the line.'” - Carolyn Hax on dealing with a friend who openly flirts with your husband. (It's never OK to have a jealous-wife fit, in public or in private. Keep your cool. When she does it to somebody else's husband, then you can gently say something to her in private.)
Carolyn Hax: Dealing with inappropriate flirtation; supporting a recently jilted man
I read this in a daily column by Carolyn Hax, and it is going in my relationship rules: "Every marriage leaves some hunger unsatisfied - religious, intellectual, physical, or just a compatible definition of fun. It's not realistic to expect everything from one person; we can only hold out for our priorities and do without the things we won't miss too badly." I think this really rings true for me. There were some things I did not expect from my husband, which I didn't mind he couldn't give me. I knew this from the start but I figured if I didn't mind giving them up for him, then he was my ideal. On the other hand, he apparently could not grasp this concept. Now, I want to find someone who is aware of this little fact of life and is accepting of it.
She knows that it’s water under the bridge but is trying to get over that “second place” feeling.
"Couples so often struggle with ideas of what marriage 'should' be, and there’s a decent chance his experience beat out of him such a rigid notion of bliss." - Carolyn Hax to a bride-to-be suddenly anxious about the short first marriage of her affianced ...
A forum for readers of Carolyn Hax to talk about the latest Hax columns, chats, Hax Philes – and to seek advice from other readers.
Carolyn Hax: A woman’s tough choice: Her guy or her God - Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend of three years proposed to me 10 months ago. I wasn’t ready; he’s been patient. He’s now eager to know one way or the other and neither of us wants to waste more time (early 30s), but I am completely torn. Read full article &
"If you see less of each other and he’s fine with that, then it’s time to figure out: Do you care more than he does? Do you care equally, but show it differently? And, most important, can you each reconcile this without expecting the other to change?" - Carolyn Hax
"Being emotionally mature means you’re not reliant on external approval to feel worthwhile, and you’re able to manage feelings well enough to take thoughtful actions instead of just reacting and lashing out." Carolyn Hax
You may not realize it, but there's a good chance you're doing at least one thing that drives your co-workers nuts. "That's their problem," you may think -- but it's yours too say management experts and advice columnists. "Working in close quarters with other people is always an adjustment. But if you're constantly distracting coworkers, it makes them edgy and resentful and corrodes camaraderie," says Karla Miller, who writesthe advice column at The Washington Post. "Also, certain habits may make you seem unprofessional and cost you opportunities." Are you guilty of engaging in any of these insanity-inspiring habits at work? Making an unreasonable amount of noise. Without fail, the first annoying office habit that every expert I interviewed mentioned was making too much noise. Most office workers are reasonable enough not to expect silence throughout the workday, but excessive or repetitive noise gets annoying fast. Think "listening to voicemail on your speakerphone in a cube environment," says Johanna R ...
"You’re a mother, too, one who knows the harm 'profoundly manipulative, volatile and mean-spirited' people can do. Protect your cub. Be fierce." Carolyn Hax to a young mother - whose own abusive mother is insisting that her 4-year-old granddaughter spend the night with her sometime. Yay Carolyn !
"Give yourself the one thing he couldn’t or wouldn’t give you: acceptance that you matter. You matter no more and no less than any other human being, and that means you’re just as entitled to dignity, civility and the freedom to be flawed without getting those flaws shoved back in your face every single time you express them." - Carolyn Hax to a woman facing the last days of an abusive father
Carolyn Hax: Carolyn Hax: Coming to terms with an emotionally abusive parent
So well worded! I've gotten this question often, even from mothers of more grown up kids who have apparently forgot. It is a choice to be a stay at home mom, but it wasn't because I wanted a vacation!
We get in, sniff, and get out. When you guys get up in each other's business, you stay long enough to pay rent.
"You’re 30-something and happy. What reason do you have not to grab the kindest, most openhearted choice ... ?" - Carolyn Hax on not resenting a parents' devotion to step-grandchildren ...
"You’re a combined age of 83. You can do what you stinkin’ want." - Carolyn Hax to an older bride stressing out over elopement vs. a wedding her dysfunctional family would delight in ruining
Carolyn Hax: The freedom to marry, with or without a family that is ‘nuts’
"I see it not as a sexual thing so much as an intimate thing — which can be anything from harmless to marriage-threatening, depending on how he responds to his wife’s honest expression of discomfort." - Carolyn Hax on the issue of single females spotted eating off a married co-worker's plate
Carolyn Hax: Giving up alcohol and expecting criticism -
"You don’t need me one bit. 'Gave it up for Lent, didn’t miss it,' is all you need; even years down the road, 'Gave it up for Lent one year, didn’t miss it,' works great. Said brightly, in a clipped kind of way, it’s a subject-closer. When pressed, shrug and say, 'What can I say?' and change the subject.' - Carolyn Hax, to a reader worried about explaining sobriety to alcoholic relatives
Carolyn Hax: Giving up drinking; less than happy about Baby No. 2: Adapted from two online discussions. Dear...
The happiest people are "the ones who've figured out a way to "want what they have."" -Carolyn Hax
Carolyn Hax, the advice columnist, also recommends that book. In case anyone cares.
What this introvert (no laughing) loves about social media is that she can communicate with her various friends, many of whom are also folks she does business with, without the energy sap of a phone call or face to face. Yes, I *do* mix work and pleasure. What this easily distracted introvert hates about social media is the need to avoid Carolyn Hax's advice column. I'm reminding myself that b*tch slapping someone I've never met does not constitute productivity.
A reader’s husband suffered when his mother died, and he resents his father’s new wife.
"If he interferes with his stepmother’s attachment to your child, then the child loses a key source of love in a very big world — a completely preventable loss." - Carolyn Hax to a pregnant wife whose husband is still mourning his mother after six years - and resenting the younger woman his father has married.
hax wisdom for the day: "Sometimes you have to hit people with a rolled up newspaper, figuratively speaking, since it's wrong to hit and it's not as easy to find a newspaper as it used to be."
"Hi, Carolyn: Six years ago, I got involved with a guy. It was brief, intense and ended terribly, with me devastated and hurt. I never received any acknowledgment that he’d been so callous. Anyway, I wouldn’t get involved with him again if he wanted to — not out of spite, just lack of interest — but I find myself resentful of his apparent happiness. He was recently married, and I keep thinking, 'Why does he get to have that happiness and I don’t?' This, coming from an existentialist, who doesn’t believe in things like karma. Nevertheless, I am plagued by what feels like unfairness. He was cruel and now he seems to have one of the things I’ve wanted my entire conscious life. I suppose it seems strange that a brief interlude would affect me so profoundly, but I was honest and vulnerable with him — the first time in a long time — and given how quickly and absolutely I became an afterthought, I may as well have been Longfellow’s crushed wildflower to him. It was terrible. - Moving On (or N ...
"Your impulse is generous, but anonymous notes are awful. They deny recipients the chance to gauge the credibility and motives of the source, ask follow-up questions, and process how many people know, how much they know and for how long they’ve known — basically, all the paths a mind travels upon receipt of news like this. Hitting a brick wall on each one adds a helpless feeling to this jackpot of pain." - Carolyn Hax to a reader sensing that her small town's scandalous "secret" affair is about to explode wide open, to the astonishment of the always-the-last-to-know wife ...
Carolyn Hax: Being around mother a choice Dear Carolyn: For decades my mother has basically ignored me and my children, or treated us unfairly in comparison to my siblings. Years of therapy have helped me understand that this is not because I am a horrid person, and I work hard to be extremely kind and loving to my own family. The problem is my mother constantly brags, to anyone who will listen, about how much she has done for us and... ~MusicIsMyLife
Carolyn Hax, in no uncertain terms, to a reader who thinks it's OK to try to get pregnant again despite a very uncertain financial pickle that includes cash infusions from an exasperated mother-in-law: "Siblings are swell, but they’re not compulsory, immediately time-sensitive or required to be only X years younger than the preceding child. They also eat, wear clothes and need doctors. Maybe you had plans for ideal spacing, but your financial plans got an abrupt rewrite, so these can, too."
Being negative is easy. There will always be a downside to everything good, a hurdle to everything desirable, a con to every pro. The real courage is in finding the good in what you have, the opportunities in every hurdle, the pros in every con. - Carolyn Hax
"... my mother-in-law needed to know more. She called my former boss (whom she had never met), forced the story out of him, then told her gossipy prayer-circle group and anyone else who’d listen. She also petitioned to my husband what a horrible liar I was, and that if he wanted out of this marriage, all he had to say was 'yes.' My husband, who knew the true story, told her he was happy in his marriage, and that was that. He’s shocked at what his mother did, but he doesn’t seem very angry and says it’s just her nature to be in the middle of everything."
Carolyn Hax: Carolyn Hax: Issues with your issues with their issues
People are who they are — not whom you hope they will become. Choose your exposure to them accordingly.-Carolyn Hax
Column! Here column column column ... anyone seen it?
The letter writer is weary of answering calls when the other person calls only to vent.
"You can’t 'make' anyone do anything. (Except perhaps 'stop breathing,' but let’s keep this forum homicide-free.) You can only state your opinion, share your feelings and observations, or ask fact-finding questions — with as much transparency of thought and motive as possible — and hope she has the emotional capacity to appreciate what you’re saying." - Carolyn Hax, to a woman worn down by a narcissistic "best friend"
So. I'm reading Miss Manners in the Free Press today- I mean, every 43 year-old man does this, right? And a woman writes in asking if it's ok to send roses to herself on Valentine's Day b/c she was recently divorced. So I throw up on that section of the paper and am forced to read Carolyn Hax, whom I actually admire. A new mother says she has a favorite song she likes to sing to her 9 month old and, "I would like to discourage other family members from singing this special song to her." I know this is a small sample size of our society, but people are so obnoxious.
Trying to discourage relatives from singing a mother’s special song is likely to backfire, Carolyn Hax says.
She is uncomfortable trusting anyone besides her husband to care for their young daughter.
"Non-parents are often more careful with a child than a parent, because the stakes are higher when you mess up on someone else’s child." - Carolyn Hax to a young mother freaking out over leaving a 1-year-old with sitters
A 20-something woman is bothered that her friendships are under scrutiny.
"Stop engaging, stop behaving as if your mom has any say in your social life, stop explaining yourself. ... What is relevant: 1. You’re an adult, and it’s your social life. 2. It’s your mom’s house. These realities allow you to decline to engage when your mother goes off on your friends. This is where your excellent track record does matter; at a calm moment when you’re not discussing your friends, say: 'Mom, do you trust that you did a good job raising me?' Pause while she responds affirmatively. 'Good. Now it’s time to show that by letting me handle my own friendships.'” - Carolyn Hax, WaPo, to a graduate student forced to move back home with an overbearing, over-protective mother
Carolyn Hax: Carolyn Hax: A 20-something living with an overbearing mom
"... even survivors of the happiest of marriages aren’t immune to the head-rush of new love; our humanity trumps all." - Carolyn Hax to a young daughter put off by her widowed dad "dating"
Carolyn Hax: Too soon for Dad to date after Mom’s sudden, surprising death?
Carolyn Hax Asking for cash for wedding gifts can be touchy ...Reader's daughter wants to ask for cash versus the usual wedding gifts. How does one express this request?See all stories on this topic »
"You know what the pressure to be perfect feels like, and probably also understand what in your childhood environment caused it. That’s a blueprint for what to avoid." - Carolyn Hax, soothing a woman who barely survived a "pressure-cooker childhood" - and is worried she might inflict the same on HER daughter ...
Fierce debate over sentence spacing reignited. weren't you working on a piece about this?
Carolyn Hax: No easy way to ask for money as wedding gift
And you think YOUR wedding meshuggas was bad ...
Carolyn Hax: You can't ask for cash at the wedding - Yakima Herald-Republic: Carolyn Hax: You can't ask for cash...
Carolyn Hax: Her brother's illness calls for healthy dose of helpfulness: I have no desire to jump into a relati...
Carolyn Hax: Feeling guilty about breaking off engagement - Carolyn Hax: Feeling guilty abo...
"... drives home the point that no one on the outside can ever know what goes on between two people. And then slam the door shut on any further discussion. It’s no one’s business but yours — and exceedingly painful business, no doubt. Hang in there." - Carolyn Hax ... who I thought was unnecessarily rough in her sign-off to the lady in the last letter of today's post ... I think that bride is entitled to have her dukes up and sign off 'Back Off, Please?'"
Carolyn Hax - Deal directly with friend's girlfriend
This is one of those nights when I wish my kids couldn't tell time. That way I could fix all the clocks to look like it was an hour later and tell them it was bedtime already.
Carolyn Hax: Dealing with a friend’s mean new girlfriend - Dear Carolyn: A close friend of mine has a new girlfriend. I don’t like her. She’s treated me with disrespect (talking about me behind my back) and she just doesn’t seem to be a nice person. She’s said some really mean things about people right in front of them. Read full article &
Carolyn Hax: Carolyn Hax: Is it fair to alternate Christmas visits when you won the grandchild lottery?
He’s volunteered to throw away the remaining issues, but is there a wandering eye to worry about?
"Emotionally healthy people are the ones who can show respect for both parties in a transaction at all times, whether you’re just two strangers merging your cars onto a highway or a couple contemplating a life together. You both look out for both of you or this won’t end well." --- Carolyn Hax, in response to the 2nd letter-writer. I think that may be the most succinct definition of "emotionally healthy" that I've seen in a long time.
In the paper today I read Carolyn Hax and the following in response to a mother finding out her daughter was *** "why not get into full January-renewal mode and consider what other views you might reconsider, revise and relaunch if you suddenly had a personal stake?" what wise advise - what if your "whatever" was *** murdered with an assault weapon, had no insurance, etc. - how would you change your views? Mine continue to evolve and I find more compassion in my heart as I get older.
Today's Carolyn Hax advice ... applies to ALL flummoxed parents in the 21st century ... "... it seems to me that’s what kids are for: tapping the shoulder of parents who think they’re X, and saying, uh, no, we’re Y. Give your child not what you want to give, but what she actually needs. Adapt this to each situation accordingly — and when in doubt, ask."
Carolyn Hax: Who should pay for car accident? - Join Talk at:
Another great Hax-ism - a serious conversation about housework is a 'come-to-dishes' talk. :-)))
Today on the apes at the have ipads:
Carolyn: Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . . Okay. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists...
She says her husband is getting off with an easy workload of house chores, and their son will soon notice.
Carolyn Hax: Mother-in-law makes fat jokes: Dear Carolyn: My mother-in-law is extremely fixated on weight. Almos...
Carolyn Hax, to a working mom with teenagers and a slacker husband: "... you and your husband list what needs to be done around the house, figure out who currently does what — putting in black-and-white your main concern here, about how little your husband actually does — and reallocate those chores as needed to you, your husband, your son and your daughter. Also - give the kids a choice of choosing the way they contribute, or having it assigned to them. Deal? And if/when your son notices his workload is harder than his dad’s, then suggest he take it up with this father directly. It’s not your job to mediate their differences."
Well, I wasn't going to post this, but won't be online very much probably tomorrow. My son's dog killed my little mini Pom tonight. I am numb, and very sad about it. She was with us for ten years. She will be buried in the morning, and his dog will be put down. It's a very sad night.
Carolyn Hax: Carolyn Hax: Creating not one, but two willing contributors to the household
Atlantic editor wants more poop transplant talk (and other odd features in D.C.'s news publications) via
Carolyn Hax: Start paying your parents something for car accident costs
Carolyn Hax: Mother’s constant bragging has friend biting her tongue
National Zoo apes join world's *** in learning how to do stuff on iPad.
No joke. Atlantic editor wants more talk on poop transplants, something he insists is no laughing matter.
Loving thoughts on apologies in the second letter:
Carolyn Hax: Partner insists she give up best friend - Carolyn Hax: Partner insists she giv...
Relationship ultimatum; learning to apologize: Dear Carolyn: For the past two years, I have been seeing a man...
"If you’re ready to accept a life of never making ambitious plans on a Sunday afternoon from mid-August to early February (the evening games you can work around, right?), then you can have a really happy life with a rabid football fan." - Carolyn Hax
To all the people that think I am full of excuses, well, here you go. Couldn't have said it better. All thanks to Carolyn Hax! :D
With her iconic column, Pauline Phillips changed our culture and gave all advice-givers words to live by.
Writing under the pen name Abigail Van Buren, she wrote the world's most widely syndicated column. The daily readership grew to more than 100 million. The column is now written by her daughter, Jeanne.
Carolyn Hax: A hasty promise; name change after marriage - Adapted from a recent online discussion. Hi, Carolyn: A lot of backstory and angst go along with this story, but I’ll keep it short: I’m in my 20s, and I got in a car accident with my dad and stepmom’s car. I did not borrow the car for fun; I was visiting them from my home a few hours away and needed to pick up prescriptions. Read full article &
Carolyn Hax: Carolyn Hax: The who, when and how of revealing you’re taking antidepressants
Carolyn Hax: Husband worried of being married to housewife | Carolyn Hax: Advice | Idahostatesman.co
Carolyn Hax: Wife’s job ambivalence wasn’t in his plans - Hi, Carolyn: My wife and I have been married nine years, a...
re: gun-owner parents: there was a Carolyn Hax column about that!
Ran across some brilliant advice today that I need to remember: When people tell you who they are - believe them.
Carolyn Hax: If flirting is a worry, it's probably gone too far ...: Dear Carolyn: Married people occasionally h...
Flirting between married people; finding clarity: From your perspective, what are the indicators that a friendly...
Carolyn Hax: Tell friend you're dating her ex Doo
Flirting between married people is risky business
Carolyn Hax: Tell friend you're dating her ex Do
Carolyn Hax: Tell friend you're dating her ex Qooo
Carolyn Hax: Tell friend you're dating her ex Qoo
Carolyn Hax: Tell friend you're dating her ex Qo
Carolyn Hax: Tell friend you're dating her ex Gooo
Carolyn Hax: Tell friend you're dating her ex Goo
Carolyn Hax on married people flirting ...
Carolyn Hax: Tell friend you're dating her ex Go
Carolyn Hax: Flirting between married people; finding clarity
I truly believe this: "letting fear guide your child-rearing decisions is an unhappy path"
For the chronic dating contingent ie the I can't be single crew. If you can't be happy alone being in a relationship isn't going to do it for you either.
I am now in LOVE with who firmly advised a fretting mom to get real:
*** After a few weeks, they didn't make people scrub with me, and I was 3 months early.
I read the Carolyn Hax column because sometimes I find well-articulated gems like this: "Many of us seem to want to save our friends and family from ever making any mistakes. We somehow want to buffer their lives so they feel no hardship. It's an understandable impulse, but not a wise one. The hardships we experience in life help us to become better, stronger people, capable of greater empathy, and perhaps even more gratitude for what we have. That doesn't mean we should watch our friends lie down in front of moving trains, but it does mean we should stop trying to buffer any bruises." (from an anonymous reader)
Welcoming new baby: Is it too much to ask family to sanitize their hands and arms and wear a sterile gown?
Zuckerberg forcing me to cut and paste Carolyn Hax today ...
Carolyn Hax: How to break news about dating friend’s ex: Dear Carolyn: How do I break the news to my friend that...
Carolyn Hax: When and how to tell a friend you’re dating her ex
Carolyn Hax: She needs to fess up to dating friend's ex Go
Chatting live a day early this week, today at noon.
Something else I never have to worry about again ...
"You’re the one choosing these men. The 'something terribly wrong' is that you’re missing or ignoring warning signs, and are possibly in a bad enough place emotionally for mistreatment to be your comfort zone."
First step: Decide whether you want an honest response. Second: Set a tone of transparency, and ask.
Carolyn Hax: She suspects her husband is straying, but doesn’t know how or whether to ask him
A partial response Carolyn Hax gave in her advice column on January 5, 2013: "People we don't like, we criticize to justify our dislike. People we love, we criticize toward becoming the best selves they can be. Total strangers, we citicize to reinforce our own self-images. Every time you feel thee urge to improve someone, try turning it inward."
Carolyn Hax: When adversity strikes, here’s how to avoid self-pity
Carolyn Hax: Family’s overtures unwelcome after early shunning
"Not all differences create a net loss, right? Often they balance us out." - Carolyn Hax
"It’s like asking a dog to understand he’s being punished at night for the trash can he upended at noon. It assumes their brains can instantly connect two discrete pieces of data out of hours, days, months of competing information. What will keep the tantrum out of the toddler (and, since we’re here, the dog out of the trash can) is to give positive attention and something to do. A 4-year-old can do small errands to feel included — and loving relatives can take turns getting on the floor to play. One last thing about boundaries: I’m answering you because it’s a good (and non-Christmas-sensitive) question and you’re the one who asked it, but — how exactly is your friend’s sibling’s kid’s exclamation your concern?" - Carolyn Hax on the "rude" holiday meltdown of a 4-year-old girl ...
"Even if you aren’t sorry, say it anyway and hope any relief on his face brings you around to the value of saving your opinions for when they’re requested and/or when they really really matter." = Carolyn Hax on letting a bride make her own decisions without criticism
"Your thanks-but-no-thanks stance isn’t hurtful, it’s a right they helped you earn." - Carolyn Hax on being the shunned sibling
Digest about Wedding New Post - Carolyn Hax: Bride's wedding colors horrify. Read it now at
Timely one from a reader: “We moved to a new town two weeks before my first grader started school. She’s adjusted well and is now talking about having play dates with her classmates. I have started to get to know the parents of her classmates, but I don’t know any of them well. Is it overstepping to...
For a child angry at an uninvited touch, adult hints, proxies and withheld gifts aren’t the answer
Carolyn Hax: - Dear Carolyn: I hope I’m not too late with a Christmas dilemma. My friend, “Louise,” has a 4-year-old niece, “Lyndie,” who is already a spoiled brat. Last year at their family Christmas gathering, Louise said she patted the then-3-year-old on her head as she passed her in the hallway. The little girl followed her to her chair, got in her face and exclaimed, “Don’t ever touch me like that again,” and stormed off. Louise was flabbergasted, since she sees L...
Carolyn Hax: He told the truth, and it hurt - (registration)
yes. Carolyn Hax: Get wedding photo of all couples -- even unmarried ones via
The way you deal with a difficult truth is as important as the truth itself. ~ Carolyn Hax
Carolyn Hax: Much ado about family wedding photos: Dear Carolyn: Should the live-in significant other of one of ...
Carolyn Hax: Much ado about family wedding photos
Judgmental is an intolerance of others mistakes. Judgment is intolerance of others bragging about making the same mistakes. Carolyn Hax
Carolyn Hax: Who should be in a 'family photo'; questioning bridesmaid's gown
Carolyn Hax: Much ado about family wedding photos - from (registration) :
Carolyn Hax: Much ado about family wedding photos - (registration)
Carolyn Hax: Carolyn Hax: Couple wants to replicate school of hard knocks for their kids
Carolyn Hax: Smart, 17 and unpursued. Is there something wrong with that?
Carolyn Hax: Working up the courage to get counseling for depression
Carolyn Hax: She broke free of marijuana. Is the abusive husband next?
Carolyn Hax: Mother bothered by having to defend drifter son
A woman whose husband died in a car accident wants to end ties with his “nice, loving” parents. Is that okay?
A husband and wife looking to move to the country and live off the land face a problem: Who does the work?
Don't try to manage people's impressions of you. Your behavior has to speak for itself. ~CAROLYN HAX
Writer’s significant other wants a Christmas miracle — all of the celebration with none of the work.
Carolyn Hax: Making Christmas a team effort - Washington Post
Hax: He has doubts about 'lone wolf' girlfriend: Dear Carolyn: My husband and I just had our 10th anniversary. I...
Don’t frame arguments against her using your own world view vs. trying to understand hers.
A harried couple, missing sleep and grown-up time, wonder how they would handle a family addition.
**We all do stupid things, but the ones we tend to regret are the ones we should see coming because their lights are flashing and sirens blaring and it's noon on a cloudless day.** Carolyn Hax
This May Seem Unorthodox (and a Little Cheap) but for Those of You Seeking Common-Sense Advice from a Neutral Party, I Suggest Reading Carolyn Hax's Columns in 'The Washington Post.' May be the Best Money You've Never Spent.
Ooh, I could totally placate that guy.
A once-divorced man hears from a high school “girlfriend” who’s thrice-divorced. Is she too risky to get involved with?
Carolyn Hax is an advice columnist, not a child psychologist. But I like the following response she wrote to a mother who fears her 7-year-old is too emotionally burdened by Mom's illness: The thing so many of us get wrong about kids (I’m guilty myself) is that we put so much earnest energy into taking care of them and being responsible for them that we forget how badly they need to care for and be responsible for things, too. It’s the key to so many things: their sense of purpose and therefore self-worth, their developing social and fine-motor skills, their understanding of family and communal responsibility, their judgment, their resiliency. Really, everything that will equip them to be strong, independent, civic- and family-oriented adults. Glasses of water and stories are exactly what she’s prepared to give you at her age. Praise her compassion, and go out of your way to take care of her when you feel up to it, to balance out the times you don’t.
A woman facing a miscarriage struggles to be strong for her 7-year-old daughter, who is trying to help.
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Sloppy teen grow up into neat adult--but not in mom's eye, via
Reformed slob is tired of Mom’s complaints: Adapted from a recent online discussion. Hi, Carolyn: When I wa...
Mamie Okuniewski liked Carolyn Hax: When a spouse is quick to anger: Adapted from a recent online discussion. Hi…
Elvie Golembeski liked Carolyn Hax: Including the ex-sister-in-law: Adapted from a recent online discussion . Dear…
Pamella Fukada liked Carolyn Hax: Conversation about gender roles can lead to answers on compatibility: Adapted from…
A man who feels more in tune with his wife’s friend than with his wife wonders what do to.
Carolyn Hax: A husband imagines a better life with his wife’s friend
Carolyn Hax: Good advice for a nephew’s fiancee
What a woman can tell her nephew’s fiancee about the freedom to make her own choices.
A last-minute withdrawal from a group vacation prompts a friend of 20 years to react with frightening intensity. Any chance of mending fences?
A woman whose last three encounters with her boyfriend’s buddies were a disaster wants to know how to make amends.
"Anything that will go away after a couple of hours without my doing anything to fix it is not officially a problem." ~Carolyn Hax
A *** couple would like guests to give to their chosen charity. Is there a proper way to express this sentiment?
Whether new to the dating scene or a veteran, the advice is the same: Be honest about your feelings and what you want.
The crush is long over, and bad feelings about her actions linger.
Thank you, Lynnette!!! Also, thank you Carolyn Hax of the Washington Post!!! (Bows in her appreciation!!!)
This is your mom’s life, and although you might not like the guys she’s dating, it’s not your job to prevent her from marrying.
A sister-in-law vents about her difficult life and a mutual friend betrays the confidence. Don’t dismiss the message just because the messenger botched the job.
When to stop waiting to hear those three little words. I have been in a relationship with a guy (I’m 43, he’s 39).
After years together, a boyfriend can’t tell his girlfriend he loves her. Should she stay and figure it out or move on?
Carolyn Hax: Stand up to hurtful remarks: DEAR CAROLYN: A close friend and I are entering health science career...
Carolyn Hax: Stand up to hurtful remarks
"The women who cause men to feel threatened with their empowerment will duly scare off men, sure, bit I await news of a downside to that." ... from columnist Carolyn Hax on a the pondering of the propriety and viability of women approaching men they are interested in...
One grad student feels demeaned when a fellow student seems dismissive of her field.
Carolyn Hax: Dealing with people who are just no good - The Washington Post
"For a relationship to b healthy, the people in it need to feel complete on their own, because that allows them to see each other as an added benefit, vs. an answer to a need" -Carolyn Hax
He is seeing a woman with a history of spousal/partner abuse and often worries about unintentionally taking advantage of her.
Your duty to disclose kicks in after you’ve made the decision to have sex and before you have sex.
Ask Carolyn Hax: Angry man not a bird you can fix - The Journal News | Ask Carolyn Hax: Ang...
Carolyn Hax: Boyfriend has anger issues, but he won’t go to therapy on his own: Adapted from a recent online di...
Carolyn Hax: Are there people who are no good, and if so, do they know it? | Living | The Seattle Times
A reader asks: Why are some people just no good? How do you identify and deal with them?
Ask Carolyn Hax: Snooping is bad but telling is a choice
Big brother may not be able to keep up with his younger sibling in sports, but we all have our own purposes and at times just have to suck it up.
Carolyn Hax: How to buck up an underachieving older brother: Dear Carolyn: My two sons, 13 and 9, love to play ...
When is the best time to visit dying grandma: What does this say about our relationship? This is the same man wh...
Carolyn Hax: Husband not father material: DEAR CAROLYN: My husband and I have finally gotten to where it is pra...
Carolyn Hax: Husband's weighty concerns are actually bullying: Question: My husband of three years and I have fi...
Loss: Hax: Husband wants wife to lose weight before pregnancy: Dear Carolyn: My husband of thr... Please RT
Ask Carolyn Hax: Husband exhibits startling lack of boundaries
i have zero maternal instinct so this second question throws me. Team MIL all the way
Is this upcoming decision about having a baby really about Weight, or is it about Wait?
"Why are you standing in harm's way, waiting to feel safe?" ~ Carolyn Hax
The husband is making requests regarding her health that point to his emotional immaturity.
Carolyn Hax: Unreasonable requests of a would-be mother; letting go of anger: Dear Carolyn: My husband of thr...
Every time I read some Carolyn Hax horror story about parenting I just feel relief at knowing I can just be a dog mom.
She grew up with healthful food; he grew up with chips and candy bars. How to accommodate his habits and the children’s need to eat right?
Carolyn Hax:Hubby's chips v. mom's veggies puts kids in the middle of daily food fight . How would you counsel?
Carolyn Hax: Husband unhappy with healthy food
Carolyn Hax: What to do when the food fight is about what a family is eating ... - The Seattle Times
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